I Never Asked For My Needs To Be Met

Before I left my ex-fiance there was about a 6-month period where I decided “I’m going to ask for everything I need. And it’s either going to make or break us.”

I knew I was unhappy.


Boxed in and feeling like a caged bird.

I didn’t feel listened to. Or seen. And felt like I was always “too much”.

But as I changed my reality of how I felt about myself, I realized that I could no longer exist in a relationship where I tempered my desires to make someone else more comfortable.

Asking For Every Single Thing I Needed

So I started asking for every single thing I needed.

Asking for our needs to be met can be a revolutionary act.

And I knew it would make us or break us.

Well, it ended up breaking us up.

And damn am I thankful that my ex had the ability to let me go when he saw that he could not rise to meet me in my new reality.

Upsetting the Balance

You see, relationships are like all biological systems – they exist in an equilibrium.

They exist at a certain state until one person in the relationship changes, upsetting that equilibrium, or balance.

Once the equilibrium is upset there are only three things that can happen:

 Either the person who changes returns to their original way of doing things.

 The entire system (all of the other relationships) rise to meet the person at their new reality.

 Or, if the person is unwilling to return to their old way of being, and the system will not change to adapt to the new way of doing things, then often the system (relationship) may break down.

“As you improve your life, your choices, your mindset, your ways of doing things you may find some tug and pull from your relationships. People trying to bring you back into your old way of being. Because that’s where they’re comfortable with you.” – Click to Tweet

Pulling You Back to the Way You Were

As you improve your life, your choices, your mindset, your ways of doing things you may find some tug and pull from your relationships.

People trying to bring you back into your old way of being. Becuase that’s where they’re comfortable with you.

You may find people questioning your life choices, giving you the crazy side-eye, implying that you think you’re “better than them”, or making fun of the changes and shifts you’ve made.

Generally, people don’t like change. So they’ll do whatever it takes to keep you exactly as you’ve always been.

You Must Make a Choice

Persist in your new reality and let the relationships do what they need to do (whether that means getting stronger or falling apart)

Or dive back into the old way of being.

The decision is up to you.

But really, the decision is obvious.

Because once you wake up, you can’t fully go back so sleep again.

You can’t fully ignore those things which are no longer aligned with your new higher state of being.

You can’t lull yourself into believing that you’re living as your highest and best self when you feel like your arms are tied around your back.

Navigating the Tricky Waters

If you want help navigating the tricky waters of changing the way you feel about yourself.

Of moving to a new level despite feeling that there are old beliefs, relationships, and conditioned beliefs which are holding you back.

And FREEING yourself once and for all then let’s connect.

I have something available for everyone at every price point and degree of personalized care.

Let’s build you the strength that will allow you to say:

“This is me. This is my life. I deserve better. And I’m not settling anymore. Because I LOVE myself. And I’m worth it!”

Just click the button below and let’s talk about making this your new reality in one of my programs.

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help women who come from challenging backgrounds that have conditioned them to put others first to live a “hell yes” life where they leave the shoulds behind. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life where everything is possible and to connect with their own intuitive genius.

To stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, to give themselves permission to go after their own desires, to be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and to release the limiting beliefs that have made them feel selfish or self-centered for putting themselves first in the past.

I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. She’s powerfully psychic and has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.