Toxicity Makes It Hard To Ask For Help
A toxic childhood makes it hard to acknowledge you can’t figure it out on your own.
It becomes hard to ask for help. Hard to acknowledge that you have problems.
When you were a child in that toxic environment, you were expected to figure it all out on your own.
To “suck it up” and “be quiet.” To be the good girl.
To not only manage your own fear and anxiety, but to manage the emotions of those around you by not rocking the boat.
Boat rocking looked like:
Admitting that things “weren’t okay”
Asking for help
Telling someone older than you that something was wrong at home (one of the CARDINAL sins when you come from a toxic childhood)
So you swallowed it all down.
You went it alone.
You Had To Go It Alone
When you were a child you were stuck figuring it all out on your own, and that pattern has likely followed you into adulthood.
The disappointments that came from the few times you did reach out, and were admonished or met by punishment, taught you that you couldn’t trust others.
That you couldn’t bring all of who you were to others. The pain. The frustration. The anxiety. The fear.
You had to show them the facade. The “shiny happy version” of you that didn’t cause any trouble.
You learned that when you to admited you had problems, that you were causing problems.
And more problems was the last thing you wanted.
So you learned to be silent.
You swallowed it down further.
You Suffered in Silence
You figured that it was all on your back and that you had to suffer in silence.
Even if it took you three times as long to figure it out, you’d do it on your own.
Even if you couldn’t find the answer, you’d find a way.
Even if you were stuck and afraid and felt like you wanted to give up, you couldn’t let yourself admit to others that you needed them.
What if they hurt you?
What if they disappointed you?
What if they judged you?
What if they thought you were weak?
And so the path got lonelier and lonelier.
And you felt more and more backed into a corner because there was no one you could turn to when you didn’t know what to do.
You Don’t Have To Do It Alone
Now, this cycle isn’t without benefits.
Because you’re mad resourceful.
And you’re independent and fierce.
And you do usually figure things out (even if it takes you longer than it would with assistance).
But let’s be straight.
Although you can do it alone, you don’t have to.
We’re not meant to have to do this alone.
The path is shorter, more joyful, and with far less suffering when you reach out to others and ask for help.
You stop spinning in resistance and “really good reasons why” you can’t do the things you really want to do (whether that’s starting your business, making more money, getting that promotion, or meeting your divine partner).
You stop finding reasons to back the “this is too hard” and are able to see that with help, it’s not so bad…
Because finally, you feel like you don’t have to carry the burden all on your own.
It’s like carrying a heavy suitcase.
You can probably do it yourself.
You can manage.
You might strain a few muscles. But you are capable of so much!
But when you finally get the courage to ask for help, you no longer have to carry that weight all on your own.
It actually ends up feeling easy!
Your Shortcut to Success
Asking for, and receiving help from others doesn’t mean that you don’t trust yourself.
It doesn’t mean you’re not capable.
It doesn’t mean that you’re not strong.
All it means is that you’re ready to feel supported, nurture, and free to focus on what’s really important.
Because when you’re unwilling to receive help.
You going to see that mirrored in receiving other things.
Like a loving partner who has your back.
And that self-worth that tells you you’re enough (and have always been enough).
This is why you hire a coach like me.
To create the shortcut to success.
And to finally learn to receive what you’ve always wanted.
Without having to struggle alone, for far longer than necessary, to get there.
You are not alone.
You are never alone.
Let’s do this together.