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Love Where You Are Going
“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” ~ C. JoyBell C.
“Things feel scary and terrifying before they get crystal clear.” Click to Tweet
The Terror Of Letting Go of Control
The prospect of not having control can be terrifying to someone who comes from a background of toxicity and trauma.
It can feel like jumping out of an airplane without a chute.
Dangerous and downright stupid.
“But what will happen if I don’t have a plan?”
It can be a hellova scary thing.
And yet time and time again I find that clarity comes through surrendering past the chaos.
Opening up your arms wide to the divine within you and saying, with your whole heart, “I trust this path. Take me divine lover. Take me and show me what’s next”
Because here’s the truth – Things feel scary and terrifying before they get crystal clear.
It’s only when we stop feeling we must always be in control do we find we can fly.
The Unexplored Path
There paths in front of you that you didn’t even realize were there.
Paths that lead to the perfect outcome in your life.
Paths that are more splendid, and perhaps more terrifying, than you ever imagined you could have.
That’s how it’s been for me.
If you would have asked me what my life would be like 5 years ago, there’s no way in hell I would have said “living in Bali, running my own successful business, loving every moment. Fitter. More embodied. Stronger. Happier than you could ever imagine”.
To be honest, I never thought that was possible at that point in my life.
5 years ago I was just leaving an engagement where everything looked good on paper, but things just didn’t feel right. I had left my job as a psychologist a year earlier. A job I went to 8 years of graduate school to get (yes, you read that right, 8 years of GRAD school!).
So then why do we hear all the time “what’s your 5-year plan?”
What’s the point of that?
The point is we’re trying to control things that we don’t really have control over.
We think that if we have a 5-year plan that all of our worries and anxieties will fade away and we’ll have the whole trajectory of our life on paper so we’ll be “safe”.
So we can finally relax.
Especially people who have toxicity and trauma in their past who crave safety and do whatever they can to control their lives.
So what do you do about it?
Write It In Pencil
You write it in pencil.
All your plans, all your agendas, all your goals.
You let go of control enough to realize that if this specific thing doesn’t happen, something better will unfold.
And you stop punishing yourself when life doesn’t turn out exactly as you thought it “should”.
When you “write it in pen” you’ll feel a sense of shame and frustration when you don’t reach that specific destination by that date/time in your journey. You’ll grasp onto that specific goal and not allow yourself the flexibility to see those unexplored paths that can be so much juicier than what you ever imagined!!
But you’ve got to let go first.