Key Takeaways:
- You have to work on your relationship with money first before everything else. It sets up the foundation for success in business and life.
- Making more money doesn’t automatically make you feel financially secure. In fact, most people who make a quarter of a million or more per year still feel out of control with money.
- If you have a poor relationship with money, it causes stress that negatively impacts everything from your thoughts, to your emotions, to the way you interact with others, to your business, to what you’re able to achieve in life.
- Your beliefs about money determine how you feel about it, not the amount you have. You have to build trust in yourself and money.
Today I want to talk about the fact that money mindset work is truly the foundation of having success in your business, in your life. Pretty much everything that you want in your life comes down to the structural foundation of getting your relationship with money right first. Now, the reason that I say this is because when we do not have a good relationship with money, let’s just be honest.
When we feel like we’re struggling with money or inconsistent income, months, or we’re not making the income we want, or we’re afraid it’s going to leave as fast as it came in, or we’re not a good manager of money, whatever our issues are with money, when we have these, what’s going to happen is we’re going to feel stressed out. We’re going to feel stressed around our relationship with money for sure. But here’s the thing.
It’s not like we have buckets inside of our body that just go like, this is the part that relates to money. And everything else is totally groovy and not at all stressful. Even though I’m totally stressed about money, it’s not going to interact with or impact the rest of my life.
I don’t know why that voice had to come out, but it did anyway. It’s not like this distinct, discrete, sectioned off area of our existence that exists over there and is separate from our relationships, separate from our ability to relax, separate from our ability to run our business, separate from our ability to express ourselves, separate from our ability to connect in our relationships. No.
When we have one stressor that looms large in our life, like money, it has these little tendrils, these little root systems that interact with and reach out to all of the rest of the areas of our life, and it impacts them and causes more stress in all of these other areas. And what happens is in the peripheral nervous system, 80% of the nerves go from your body to your brain and only 20% go from your brain to your body. What this means is if you’re feeling and experiencing physical stress in your body about something like money, even if you’re not thinking about it, you’re experiencing some stress around it.
An unexpected bill, or those inconsistent income months, or scaling your business or whatever. If you’re experiencing that stress, what happens is your subconscious mind thinks that you’re unsafe and it will throw on the handbrake and it will sabotage you. And I know people don’t like to hear that, but the beauty is, once you’re aware of it, you can shift that and you can change that.
And it’s totally something that doesn’t have to be true for you going forward. It’s only when we’re not aware of it that it ends up wreaking havoc. And we’re like, why is this happening? I don’t know what’s holding me back.
Well, let me tell you, it’s your subconscious mind. This is why we need to work on subconscious reprogramming. So back to what I was saying, money mindset being the foundation of things.
So if we look at our society, we have to have our basic needs met first before we’re able to move up the hierarchy of dealing with other things. Maslow’s hierarchy is know in the world of psychology. I have my phd in psychology, so I’m going to break out some science for you sometimes, some psychologists and all of this good stuff.
But Maslow created this hierarchy of needs, the very bottom rung. The foundational aspect is having your basic needs met, having a roof over your head, having food in your belly, making sure you survive. Of course, this is why the subconscious mind is such a powerful impact on us, because it’s trying to keep us alive.
But this is why money is so important. Because ultimately, the way our society works is money is how we keep a roof over our head. It’s how we keep food in our belly.
It’s how we feel that sense of security and stability that allows us to grow. And so as we go up this hierarchy of needs, we have needs for purpose and self actualization and connection and all of these different things. But none of those things can become a focus and an important aspect of our life until we have the foundation built, until we know that we’re safe and we’re secure, and that we have stability in some way, shape or form.
Now, the irony about this is that people think that money is going to give them the security. People think that, well, I just need to make a crapload more money. And then of course I’m going to feel secure.
Of course I’m going to feel stable because I’ll have the roof over my head and the food in my belly. Well, that’s true. You will have the roof in your head and the roof in your head, the roof over your head and the food in your belly.
But what’s also true is that unless you deal with your relationship with money, rather than just making more money, you will always continue to feel stressed and worried about not having enough or needing to make more, or needing to make sure that you don’t just lose it as fast as you made it, whatever it might be, 75%. Here’s a statistics that’s going to blow your mind. 75% of women who make year still feel completely out of control with money.
They’re still feeling stressed, they’re still feeling like money is like this thing that drives them crazy. So why would that be if they’re making a quarter million dollars a year? It’s because money does not ultimately give you your security. It’s your relationship with yourself, it’s your mindset, and it’s your relationship with money.
Here’s an example. You walk into a house and you trust that the floor beneath you is not going to explode and crumble into nothingness and you’re going to fall down through the floor and die, right? You can just trust that that floor is going to support your weight and that you’re going to be able to walk in the house and dance and jump up and down and whatever the floor is going to support you, right? You feel security, you feel safe walking on that floor. Now, would you say it’s because you have a whole lot of floor? Or would you say it’s because you have a relationship with understanding the way that floors work and you can trust that that floor will support your weight, right.
The floor in of itself doesn’t hold the power. It’s your trust in the floor that holds the power. It’s the fact that you know that this house is built on a structurally sound foundation.
It’s the fact that you understand the way that houses are built in general. This is why you see, I don’t know if you’ve seen these videos where I think there’s one in the Grand Canyon where people walk out on those bridges that are like a window and you walk out on the bridge and people freak out and they collapse and they’re holding under the ground because they believe that they’re going to fall through the floor. They believe that they’re going to plunge to their death.
Even though this thing is totally structurally sound, it’s totally going to support their weight. They should be able to trust it, right? But it’s because of their beliefs. Being able to see through it, I feel like I’m going to fall.
It’s their relationship to the floor, not the floor itself, that gives them the security, the stability and the feeling of safety. This is why when it comes to money, it’s about you, it’s about your beliefs, it’s about your stress with money. It’s about what’s going on on the inside.
It’s about who you think you are. Because when you believe that money might just run away, or money is scarce, or you have to work hard about hard for money and you got to sacrifice, it’s always going to feel stressful, and it’s always going to feel out of reach, and your subconscious mind is going to throw on the handbrake and you’re going to find yourself over and over and over again, not finding the financial success that you desire. You have to shift your relationship with money because once you do and you don’t just make more money, like I said, once you do, the foundation is built and then success comes easier, then self expression becomes easier because you no longer tie.
Oh, if I’m radically self expressed, other people aren’t going to like it, and then I won’t be able to make the money I want. You are able to untie your relationships from money because you no longer feel like guilty because your parents didn’t make more money, or because you’re going to be out earning your husband, or because people from your neighborhood might not like it because they think you’re putting on errors or whatever. No, you release those fears and you’re able to create more connection in your relationships because you have a rock solid relationship with money that doesn’t get dictated by, or pulled around by the nose by other people’s opinions.
And then you’re able to work on things like self actualization, which is the top of that Maslow’s hierarchy that we talked about, where you can grow spiritually, you can grow on a soul level, you can work through all of these beautiful self development, personal development pieces where you get to be your most authentic, beautiful, self loving self and not feel as though making money doing it is cheating somebody or taking from somebody else. Or that getting to live the luxury lifestyle you want is something that you should be ashamed of. Or that getting to spend $10,000 to go on this retreat in Bali is silly and you’ve got to hide it because you feel guilty about spending this money when other people can’t.
Because your relationship with money has shifted and so your relationship with yourself has shifted and your relationship with spirit has shifted. There is an aspect of, I can’t think of the name right now off the top of my head, but basically the yogic principles of what is it that we need in order to be successful in our lives? And we so often think that what it is is this purely spiritual plane, and that if I’m really spiritual, I exit the need for 3d reality where money even matters. I just don’t even want to think about money.
That’s nice and all, but that’s just not reality. I’m going to call you on that. That’s just not reality and it’s not the way our culture works.
Do I hope for a day when it’s like Star Trek where it’s a utopian society and we can all be philosophers and explorers, nobody has to worry about money and there’s no poverty and nothing to worry about? Absolutely. But is that the reality that we’re in today? No. And so let’s deal with reality and understand that money is a part of it, that we need to make money in order to resource our security, safety and feeling that we can relax.
But more than that, we cannot create what it is that we want to create in this world. Whether that’s connection with other people, connection with ourselves, connection with spirit, soul, something other, or service or impact or legacy or creative endeavors, or the painting you want to paint, you can’t create any of it unless you are abundantly financially resourced and you feel as though you are supported first and foremost. And this is why I wish that every entrepreneur would do this work first, would work on their relationship with money first, would work on their money mindset first, because if they did, they would set the stage for their success down the line.
Because as much as we all want to just say some affirmations, I love money, money loves me and think that that’s going to shift everything, that’s just not how it works. We need to get into that subconscious stuff that’s sabotaging us, putting on the handbrake to try to keep us safe, because money is a stressor. We need to release that stuff so that we can step into abundance by taking radical, aligned, intuitive action that’s perfect for us.
That feels really good and that isn’t coming from a place of fear, scarcity, lack, all of these things that make us feel as though we’re out on that glass platform over the Grand Canyon and we cannot trust the floor beneath our feet. And this is what I wish for you, is to have that rock solid belief that you are on firm footing so that you can grow and you can scale your freedom, your connection, your impact, your pleasure, your joy, everything that you want, because it’s all available to you. But you’ve got to shift out of all of this stress around money first.
And when you do, you set the foundation to grow and grow and grow in a way that’s not overwhelming, that’s not going to burn you out, that’s not stressful. And ultimately it ends up just being so fulfilling and so fun and like a playground. And it’s something you get to do instead of something you have to do.
Now, I would love to hear more from you. I’d love to hear what you took from this podcast episode. If you’ve worked on your money mindset and been like, oh my gosh, just isn’t working for me, let me know.
I’ve got some resources that can totally help you in shifting that. Or if you’ve worked on that rock solid, awesome foundation and you’ve been able to build your house in a way that’s sustainable, I’d love to hear more from you about that, too. I just love hearing so much about all of your journeys.
And I’ve so enjoyed all of the dms that I get on instagram talking about what’s been going on for you inside. Because ultimately, what I’m here for is you getting to win. Is you getting to freaking win and succeed from a place of joy and fulfillment and freedom.
Instead of all of this sacrificing and struggle and feeling like out of control, you get to have it all, darling. And I am so here for it.
