Ask Dr Ash – Motivate Without Being a Nag?

Ask Dr Ash – Motivate Without Being a Nag?

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QUESTION

Dear Dr. Ash,

I have a lazy teenager (15). I have figured out that his laziness is, in part, because he lacks any internal motivation to be successful. I partly blame myself because I have “over taken care of him.” As a child, I never had anyone taking care of me. I took care of myself. So, now as a parent, I think I am taking too good care of my child to compensate for that.

First, is internal motivation something I can teach my son? If so, how? If not, how can I turn this situation around without turning into a shrew of a mother?

Signed – I Don’t Wanna Shrew it Up!

DR. ASH

Hey Don’t Wanna Shrew it Up!

Great question.

Internal motivation is definitely a thing. The best way to cultivate internal motivation is to help people connect with why a certain thing is important to them. Getting “good grades” in grade school didn’t matter at all to me (for example) and I got really poor grades. But when I got to high school I learned that grades would determine if I was able to go away to a good (and interesting) college once I graduated. This was enough to motivate me to work harder in school.

Different people also have different expectations and standards of what’s appropriate and what’s “good enough” and what they even notice (say, in the case of tidiness). I remember when I got to college my college roommate telling me at one point, about 2/3rds of the way through the year “do you realize that I pick up your soda can every day and put it in the garbage?”

The honest to goodness truth is that I hadn’t noticed. I hadn’t noticed at all.

Not everyone notices things like this as much as others. I am capable of overlooking a pile of clothing on a chair for weeks before it gets to the point where I have to do something about it. It just doesn’t bother me the same way it bothers other people.

The problem comes when other people decide that this “isn’t good enough” and “needs to shift”. I’m not a sloppy person by any means. I clean up sticky or dirty things like dishes quite quickly. But clutter, especially when I was younger, just didn’t phase me.

So if we’re talking about a specific degree of tidiness, then this can definitely be a matter of personal preference. And the desire to control the child and make them the same degree of tidiness that you find acceptable may instead cause you to “do it yourself” rather than nag and feel rude. Or wait on them to do it.

But what’s going on here is part of the toxic cycle of Everyday Codependency. You’re sacrificing your own happiness because of your belief that the other person needs to meet your expectations in order for you to feel happy.

Now, let’s extend this idea to the notion of say doing laundry. Every child at a certain age has to learn to do their own laundry. It’s never too late to learn. However, if you fear that you’re asking your child to do too much by asking them to take care of their own laundry then that’s again about you wanting to control how your child perceives you. Whether your child is perceived by others as clean or sloppy. So perhaps you teach your child to do his own laundry and then you let it go. If he chooses to wear dirty pants or stained clothing to school than that’s what he’s choosing. (again, you don’t even want to know how long I would go between washing my jeans or my sheets in college. It makes me shudder now).

“Failing and making mistakes is essential to learning.” – Click to Tweet

Very likely there’s a sense that if you don’t take care of these things that they will not get taken care of yourself. But what’s really happening is:

 You fear allowing your child to make their own mistakes and fail. If your son figures out that girls don’t like him when he stinks. Or that he hates the way his clothes feel when they have sand in them. But he’ll need to encounter something that will motivate him to do something differently. Then, and only then, might he begin to feel motivated to do things differently. But ONLY if you let him do make mistakes and fail. Only if you let him get uncomfortable first. If you continue to take care of the issue for him he will just wait until you’ll do it. Discomfort is generally a requirement to change something. So you must allow your child to experience the discomfort of his choices rather than protecting him from it!

 You’re afraid of setting boundaries. Setting boundaries isn’t so much about the setting of the initial boundary, but about the reassertion of the boundary. If the dog (for example) knows you’ll let him on the couch eventually. He’ll just wait you out to avoid sitting on the floor – giving you those puppy dog eyes the whole time. Just like your son who may wait you out till you eventually cave and do his laundry for him if he knows you’ll do it eventually. A boundary is “this is something you now need to do yourself” and standing by that boundary. Again and again. Especially when it gets uncomfortable.

 You’re assuming that your child’s level of motivation is your own personal failure instead of about your child. This is not fair. You need to let your child’s choices (especially once they hit a certain age) be about what they choose to do. If you continue to take responsibility for his choices then you will continue to shield him from failure, from making mistakes, and ultimately from learning. Because failing and making mistakes is essential to learning. But when you blame yourself if he fails or makes mistakes than you feel responsible for fixing those issues and so tend to swoop in so that you don’t feel bad.

 You may be too invested in being “liked” by your children instead of cultivating what will be good for them. Asserting and reasserting boundaries does not make you a shrew. Yes, there are certain points when it begins to lean into nagging land. But that’s the point when you stop nagging and you start allowing the other person to feel the impact of their decisions.

Bet you never really thought about it that way (#3). That the real reason you take care of your son and these issues is to save yourself the discomfort of feeling bad or feeling like you failed. Especially if you’ve ever felt as though your parents failed you you may be overcompensating so that you’re “not like them”.

Drop the fears and allow your son to be who he is. Stop judging yourself. Allow him to make his own mistakes and learn his own lessons. And hold fast to your boundaries with him and what you expect of him. I highly suggest writing down specific expectations and standing by them. Perhaps dishes in the sink and laundry done on his own. Then he knows exactly what’s expected of him.

 

Got a Question?

Got a question for Dr. Ash? Send them to support@ashleegreer.com and you may find your question featured in one of the upcoming editions!

If you’re ready for a ‘hell yes‘ life, join The Abundance Revolution TODAY!

Anxiety. Fear. Playing Small. Stuckness.

You’re living in a prison of your own making.

It’s time to change that forever.

Download NOW for FREE!

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help female entrepreneurs who to have a business where they make a massive impact, make a great income, and leave the scripts behind. I specialize in helping entrepreneurs build self-trust, inner strength, and to follow their own inner knowing. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life and to have a business they love. Everything is possible when you connect with your intuitive genius.
 
Stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, give yourself permission to go after your own desires, be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and release the limiting beliefs that have made you feel selfish or self-centered for putting yourself first in the past.
 
I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. She has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people create passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful lives and businesses.

Accomplishing That Goal Won’t Make You Happy

Accomplishing That Goal Won’t Make You Happy

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New Years Resolutions Won’t Change Who You Are

Whatever you feel TODAY will be how you feel once you get more money, a divine partner, losing 20 pounds, meditating every day, or moving to a new country.

It’s one of the biggest problems with depending on making a big change in order to change your life.

You decide “I’m going to change X!” and think that the way you feel in your life is magically going to change along with it. 

But nope. That’s just not how it works.

If you don’t feel worthy, happy, or satisfied now, none of those changes, leaps, or resolutions will change the way you feel.

You’ll end up feeling the exact same way, even after you make the change.

You must change the way you feel NOW before you get it. Before you leap. Before you accomplish that goal.

You’ll Still Feel The Same When You Achieve X

Otherwise you’re going to get into new situation, and still find yourself miserable and wondering

 “Why am I still unhappy?”

“Why am I dissatisfied when I have what I wanted?”

“Why didn’t X make me feel better!”

Or you’ll just move the goal posts and tell yourself that you need to accomplish some NEW goal in order to finally be happy. Some new horizon must be reached before you can finally be satisfied. 

 

“Once I have Y, then I can be content”

Happiness is An Inside Job

You see, contentment, happiness, joy, love, peace, worthiness, and comfort all come from a core place within you.

They aren’t suddenly born from having more stuff.

They aren’t suddenly created by having more money.

Your life doesn’t suddenly get perfect when you meet the love of your life.

You don’t fix everything by moving to a new town.

Whatever issues you bring INTO the situation will still be there when you do whatever it is you’ve convinced yourself you must do to be happy.

That situation, that accomplishment, that achievement, that money, that thing is NOT going to give it to you.

You’ve got to get happy with yourself or you’ll never be happy with anything.” – Click to Tweet

Achievement Doesn’t Create Happiness

Until you realize this. You will constantly be on the hamster wheel of trying to achieve in order to be happy.

And that is ass-backwards.

It’s time to be happy so that you can finally achieve.

It might sound weird. But once you become happy, achievement becomes so much easier.

It’s so much easier to create from a place of inspiration and flow.

From a place of fulfillment and joy.

From a place of knowing that you have everything you need, and you’ve always had everything you need. 

You see, you can’t seek happiness externally because it’s not dependent on what you have, it’s only dependent on what’s going on inside.

And your insides aren’t magically going to change when you get that money, that car, that partner, or that job.

 

You’ve got to get happy with yourself or you’ll never be happy with anything.

 

Radical self-acceptance and self-trust are the topics we’ll be talking about in depth in The Abundance Revolution over the next few months.

If you’ve always changed by trying to criticize and put yourself down, yet felt like crap about it, I can show you another way.

It’s changing from a place of deep love and embracing all that you are.

No more self-doubt.

No more squeezing yourself into a tiny little package to make other people more comfortable.

No more trying to be what other people want you to be.

Just free untamed expression of exactly who you are.

Without guilt. Without shame. Without judgment.

This is the key to everything.

Join us now in The Abundance Revolution to learn how. 

If you’re ready for a ‘hell yes‘ life, join The Abundance Revolution TODAY!

Anxiety. Fear. Playing Small. Stuckness.

You’re living in a prison of your own making.

It’s time to change that forever.

 

Download NOW for FREE!

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help women who come from challenging backgrounds that have conditioned them to put others first to live a “hell yes” life where they leave the shoulds behind. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life where everything is possible and to connect with their own intuitive genius.

To stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, to give themselves permission to go after their own desires, to be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and to release the limiting beliefs that have made them feel selfish or self-centered for putting themselves first in the past.

I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. She’s powerfully psychic and has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.

Neediness Is Blocking Your Desires

Neediness Is Blocking Your Desires

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Shed the Neediness

One of the most common things I hear from my clients is “I don’t even know what I want. I’m not even sure I know what I like!”. But I’m going to share a secret with you. You’ll never be able to connect with what you really most deeply desire until you first shed the neediness that’s blocking it from entering your life.

Life is a lot like a buffet. When you go to the buffet and you’re starving you’re going to stuff yourself with the first thing you see. You’re not going to be able to wait to get to the really good stuff because you’re too hungry.

Neediness is like an emotional state of starvation. You end up grabbing whatever you can just to fill the hole. Whether that’s a subpar relationship, job, or friendships – you end up settling for far less than what would really delight.

Check out the video for more on how not having your needs met is actually blocking you from getting what you most desire.

DR. ASH

Holidays can be a particularly difficult time when it comes to coping with family. Especially if there is a narcissist involved in the equation. But here’s the truth – no one’s opinion of you and your life choices matters except your own.

I know it can seem threatening and confusing when you fear that someone might use your boundaries and distance against you, using it as fuel to a fire that you are not a good daughter. But sit down and ask yourself for a moment – why does it matter? Why does their opinion of you matter?

It matters because the toxicity & trauma from when you were growing up has conditioned you to believe that other people’s opinions of you are not only very important, but a valid reflection of your goodness, your worthiness, and your value in this world.

So sit back for a moment and ask yourself – “What’s the worst that would happen if they say ‘look, everyone, I told you she was a bad daughter’. What would happen? What would the worst case scenario be?”. Perhaps you may have a few family members or people in your parent’s community think ill of you. What else? What other fears are lurking there? Do they offer financial support that they might withdraw? Or emotional support?

Chances are that the biggest thing that would happen is that you’d feel guilty and filled with shame for putting yourself first. For asserting that you deserve to have a happy and satisfied life and doing what you need to do to make that happy.

It’s not what they think of you that’s really bothering you. It’s the internalized fears about what you’ll think of yourself.

You see, no one can really make us feel anything. Think about it. If you were on a crowded subway and bumped into someone and they had the opinion of “look, everyone, I told you she was a bad person!” you’d probably brush it right off and go on with your day because you’ve decided that that person’s opinion isn’t valid. But since you decided, probably when you were young, that your parents’ opinions were valid you feel as though when you go against those opinions you’re doing something wrong.

You’re essentially activating the “bad girl” inside of you that fears being punished. The archetypal inner child that fears that if she breaks the rules she’ll be abandoned and never loved by anyone.

Of course, your adult self knows better than this. And lucky for you she can learn new ways of coping and can decondition all of that old toxicity & trauma that’s kept you locked into the cycle of guilt and shame that has kept you replaying the same patterns over and over.

Plus, as yourself this – if you had to choose either them being disappointed with you and feeling guilty about it OR you getting to be happy, relaxed and relieved which is more important? Which is more valuable?

The answer is pretty obvious to me 😉

This month in The Abundance Revolution, we’ll be talking specifically about surviving the holidays with toxic family.

There’s a lot of other aspects to coping with toxic family during the holidays that I’m super excited to teach. Such as how to shape behavior, how to give yourself an escape hatch, how to deal with grief, anxiety, and depression during the holidays, and how to keep your sanity during a season we’ve all been conditioned to put everyone else first.

Join us in The Abundance Revolution Membership. In this membership, you’ll discover how to cultivate inner strength, self-trust, and resilience so that you can finally feel comfortable putting yourself first without feeling selfish. To decondition those old beliefs, heal the inner child, and finally get what you’ve always wanted. And for a limited time, you can try it for only $22.

Grab your spot today!

“You’ll never be able to connect with what you really most deeply desire until you first shed the neediness that’s blocking it from entering your life.” – Click to Tweet

Revolutionize your Life

This video was based on an in-depth workshop in my membership community The Abundance Revolution. It’s filled with inspiring heart-centered women who are developing deep levels of self-trust and self-love and throwing out all of the old toxic conditioning from the past.

If you’re ready to revolutionize your life, join the group today. I’m going to be adding new exciting features in January and the price will be increasing. So, don’t miss out on your opportunity to join at the current discounted rate!

Click the Abundance Revolution image below to JOIN NOW! 

 

 

Anxiety. Fear. Playing Small. Stuckness.

You’re living in a prison of your own making.

It’s time to change that forever.

 

Download NOW for FREE!

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help women who come from challenging backgrounds that have conditioned them to put others first to live a “hell yes” life where they leave the shoulds behind. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life where everything is possible and to connect with their own intuitive genius.

To stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, to give themselves permission to go after their own desires, to be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and to release the limiting beliefs that have made them feel selfish or self-centered for putting themselves first in the past.

I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. She’s powerfully psychic and has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.

You Don’t Need Discipline

You Don’t Need Discipline

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Discipline = Punishment?

How do you feel when you hear the word “discipline?”

Good, bad, indifferent? 

To me,  discipline feels like punishment.

In fact, that’s another definition of the word!

And yet we all hear again and again, “you’ve got to have discipline to be successful.”

But Screw That!

The rebel inside of me wants to run the other direction when she hears that.

My eyes roll up in my head and I feel heavy, and weighted down. 

“If that’s what it takes to be successful. Screw that!!”

I bet you have a little bit of this rebel inside of you….

“There are ways you can adapt and make achieving your desires FUN and EASY while leaving nasty words like “discipline” by the roadside.” – Click to Tweet

Discipline Feels Harsh

When the rebel hears “discipline” she envisions stern teachers, drill sergeants, or the harsh tone and words of your parents from when you were young.

You see, especially when you come from a background with any type of harshness and judgment from a parental figure, you’re very likely going to have a reaction to words like “discipline.”

But you’ve had this expectation, because of the toxicity & trauma, that to be successful it’s got to be “hard” and that you have to drive yourself toward accomplishment through harshness.

But that’s just not true. 

The Solution

The solution?

It’s flipping the entire concept on its head and understanding that you don’t really need “discipline.”

Yep, you heard that right! 

You don’t need discipline in order to be successful. 

The Alternative To Discipline

What you really need is commitment.

When you’re committed to doing something.

Fully decided.

Fully on board.

You do it.

And it feels GOOD to do it.

And you persist and keep moving. 

Not becuase you have to, but becuase you want to. 

Not because you feel guilty and ashamed of yourself. But because you know you’re worth it. 

It Can Be Easy

Accomplishing your goal doesn’t have to feel like a big forced drag of an endeavor.

Because you’re moving TOWARD what you want (your goal).

Rather than moving away from what you don’t want (the idea of someone disciplining you).

The best type of motivation is always feeling motivated in the creation of something, rather than running from something (this is a key tenet of manifestation). 

So don’t feel bad if you’ve never jammed with the idea of discipline.

Most people from harsh backgrounds don’t.

There are ways you can adapt and make achieving your desires FUN and EASY while leaving nasty words like “discipline” by the roadside. 

 

Want to know how to achieve that flowing ease in moving toward your goal? Grab my free ebook below. 

 Transform your life from an “I guess” to a “Hell Yes!” with this free ebook

It’s time to release the Toxicity & Trauma that’s been keeping you stuck for good.

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help women who come from challenging backgrounds that have conditioned them to put others first to live a “hell yes” life where they leave the shoulds behind. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life where everything is possible and to connect with their own intuitive genius.

To stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, to give themselves permission to go after their own desires, to be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and to release the limiting beliefs that have made them feel selfish or self-centered for putting themselves first in the past.

I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. She’s powerfully psychic and has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.

Live Life Without Regret

Live Life Without Regret

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One of My Life Mottos

 

One of my life mottos is to “live life without regret”.  

It’s interesting. Because there’s so many layers to this one statement.  

When I was in my 20s, the motto meant do all the things!! 

Now, in my 40s, the motto means no matter what happens, regret is a waste of energy! (and, well, do all the things, lol).

 

5 Big Regrets of the Dying

A nurse working in hospice noticed through time that most dying patients had one of 5 regrets.

They were: 

 “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

 “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”

 “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”

 “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”

 “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

These prove the point of my life motto. That the only things you’ll regret on your deathbed are the things you didn’t do, not the things you did do. 

And yet, so many people play it safe. They keep their lives contained in tiny little boxes of conformity. Of “playing nice” and being appropriate. 

They prioritize the opinions of everyone else over what they really most deeply desire.

And they end up sacrificing their happiness, and ultimately their life satisfaction because of it. 

 

How Would You Live Your Life Differently?

An amazing 85-year-old woman, Nadine Stair, from Louisville, Kentucky, provided the words below after someone asked her how she would have lived her life differently if she had a chance.

If I Had To Live My Life Over Again

“If I had my life to live over again,
I’d dare to make more mistakes next time.
I’d relax.
I’d limber up.
I’d be sillier than I’ve been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances,
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would, perhaps, have more actual troubles but fewer imaginary ones.
you see, I’m one of those people who was sensible and sane,
hour after hour,
day after day.
Oh, I’ve had my moments.
If I had to do it over again,
I’d have more of them.
In fact, I’d try to have nothing else –
just moments,
one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.
I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute.
If I could do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.
If I had to live my life over,
I would start barefoot earlier in the spring
and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances,
I would ride more merry-go-rounds,
I would pick more daisies.”

The true you is waiting for you to step up and say “this is my life and I’m going to make it a ‘hell yes’ because I will not settle for a mediocre life anymore.” – Click to Tweet

Don’t Miss Your Chance To Truly Live

Right now, this instant is your chance for freedom. 

To live your life with joy, bliss, and full out aliveness that you’ve read about in stories, but wondered if it’s real. 

I assure you, it is. 

But you’ve got to shift your perspective from “I’ll do it tomorrow” and realize that the only time you can ever make a choice that allow you to live life without regret is now. 

You may never get another the chance to ask that person out on a date. 

You may never get around to painting that masterpiece, or writing your great novel if you don’t start today. 

You’ll never be as young as you are today. 

So what are you waiting for? 

The time to act is now. 

The true you is waiting for you to step up and say “this is my life and I’m going to make it a ‘hell yes’ because I will not settle for a mediocre life anymore. 

The choice is yours. 

The time is now. 

 

Where to start? 

Grab your copy of The No Bullsh!t Guide To Life in the box below. This is a free eBook that will give you immediate steps to take to make your life into a “hell yes” instead of an “I guess”. 

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help women who come from challenging backgrounds that have conditioned them to put others first to live a “hell yes” life where they leave the shoulds behind. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life where everything is possible and to connect with their own intuitive genius.

To stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, to give themselves permission to go after their own desires, to be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and to release the limiting beliefs that have made them feel selfish or self-centered for putting themselves first in the past.

I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. She’s powerfully psychic and has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.

Are You Living By This Self-Sabotaging Success Equation?

Are You Living By This Self-Sabotaging Success Equation?

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Working Hard and the Burden of Success

What does a “hustle” mentality have to do with a toxic childhood?

When you come from a background where worth was earned by keeping everyone around you happy. By towing the line. By being the “good girl” and keeping quiet, or bringing home good grades, or raising your siblings, or achieving more and more to be noticed.

You become conditioned to believe that:

Working hard = Success

So you create structures around your success where you have to work harder and harder. Success becomes a burden.

The Hamster Wheel of Busy

You stay constantly busy.

You move from one task to another in rapid succession feeling as though an internal motor is constantly saying to “do more. Do more. Do more”.

Because fundamentally you feel that your worth is earned through hard work.

You believe: Worthiness = Hard work

At a certain point, you start to believe that you must always be doing in order to “earn it”. Whatever “it” happens to be.

 A divine partner.

 More money.

 A purpose driven career.

 A promotion.

That the only way to make more, be more, and connect more is to HUSTLE more.

You’re breaking your back hustling. Not for success – but for worthiness.” – Click to Tweet

Hustle Leads To Burnout And Stress

Unfortunately, this leads to a whole steaming pile of burnout and stress. You start to resent your work. You start to pull back. You start to have trouble with procrastination, resistance, and avoidance.

You start to tell yourself “I must not have what it takes”, “I must not be made for this”, or “this is too hard.”

Because you’re breaking your back hustling.

Not for success – but for worthiness.

Your mind fundamentally believes: Working hard = Worthiness = Success

The Equation That Cheats Your Life

Notice something missing from that equation? Yeah, how about happiness? Satisfaction? Joy? Pleasure? Contentment? Nope.

None of those get into the equation when you’re running your life from the old toxic paradigm. You run around trying to keep everyone happy. To earn as many pats on the head as you can. In order to be successful so that you can finally be worthy.

Problem is, even when you achieve something. Even when you’re accomplished. You’re still chasing the dragon of worthiness.

And because you can never reach the holy grail of worthiness through this pathway, you burn yourself out and break your back and pull back, hide, or quit.

Because of that toxic background, the worthiness isn’t anchored inside of you. So you’re always looking for another pat on the head.

Another ball of praise convincing you that you “did good.” Another achievement to check off so that you feel as though you’re “earning your worth.”

You Woke Up Worthy

But Worthiness Is Not Earned Worthiness is who you are.

You woke up worthy. You have always been worthy.

But because you’re running the toxicity paradigm you feel as though once you finally get X (be that money, the divine partner, losing 10 pounds, a raise, a new car, whatever) that you’ll once and for all feel “good enough” and be able to relax and finally be happy.

But that’s not how this works!!

That’s not how any of this works!

Stop The Vicious Toxic Cycle For Good

We have to turn the whole system on its head.

To put feeling “good enough” and “worthy” FIRST.  

To put YOU first.

And to stop you from this vicious cycle of feeling that you must earn your worth.

The toxic paradigm that you learned when you were young. You are never going to let yourself be happy unless you break this cycle.

You are never going to allow yourself to prioritize pleasure and contentment and joy because you’ve convinced yourself that you must constantly HUSTLE before you can finally rest and let yourself enjoy anything.

(Want proof? What does celebration look like to you? Do you celebrate even the small stuff? Do you do a little dance when the house is clean or sing for joy when you feel grateful. No? Why? Because you feel that it’s not “enough” to celebrate. Just like you feel that YOU are not enough to celebrate!!).

Dismantle the Old Wounds & Feel Confident and Vital

This is the work I do with my clients.

I help my clients dismantle the old wounds that say that they have to earn worthiness by keeping other people happy.

To put themselves first.

To figure out what they really want.

To stop playing small to keep other people comfortable.

To drop the struggle, suffering, hustle mentality that is constantly delaying happiness.

And to move through the intense emotions that they’ve hidden from their whole life.

(oh yeah, that hustle is ALSO a way that you keep yourself numbed out to those emotions that you’re running from. The very emotions that will help you feel truly connected to others. That will attract those clients, that divine partner, that cashola. The emotions that are essential for intuition. Those emotions that will allow you to feel truly lit up about your life).

I help my clients to FINALLY, truly, feel confident and vital, and self-expressed as THEMSELVES. Knowing they’re worthy of receiving lovely and amazing things.

This is a whole system that I’ve developed. And one that you WILL NOT find anywhere else.

It integrates my entire life experience with this very cycle (my clients tell me that I’m my best testimonial).

PLUS, my Ph.D. in psychology.

PLUS deep spiritual and divine connection.

PLUS deep spiritual gifts of on-point intuition and psychic ability.

PLUS, research and up to date neuroscience on change, motivation, and adapatation.

PLUS, 15 years of experience helping people with this very thing as a coach and former psychologist.

PLUS, specialized psychological training in toxic backgrounds, trauma, and abuse.

PLUS, loving, heart-based, expansive mentorship that is like nothing you’ve ever experienced.

If you want to shift out of this cycle for good. You know where to find me.

I have just 2 more spots to step into 1:1 work with me before my prices increase.

You know it’s your time. Because YOU ARE WORTHY!!

Grab a session below by clicking the button. I can’t wait to chat about how one-on-one coaching will change your life forever.

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help women who come from challenging backgrounds that have conditioned them to put others first to live a “hell yes” life where they leave the shoulds behind. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life where everything is possible and to connect with their own intuitive genius.

To stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, to give themselves permission to go after their own desires, to be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and to release the limiting beliefs that have made them feel selfish or self-centered for putting themselves first in the past.

I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. She’s powerfully psychic and has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.