I’m a big believer in quantum leaps.
You know, those moments when you go big and leap off the edge into the unknown like some sort of life Indiana Jones (minus the whip, plus the occasional panic attack).
But let’s be real. Those leaps aren’t easy.
Choosing your soul over shoulds is one of the scariest things there is.
They take a shit-ton of inner resources. You have to trust yourself when everyone else thinks you’ve lost your damn mind. You need to feel confident in your ability to navigate whatever weirdness life throws at you along the way.
Most importantly? You have to know down to your bones who and what you are. And give yourself permission to BE that person, even when it makes other people uncomfortable.
Here’s what I’ve discovered about quantum leaps after making approximately a bajillion of them.
They often look like they’ve come out of nowhere. But they’re actually the result of months (or years) of choosing your soul over shoulds. You know, those “shoulds” that tell you what you “should” do and how you “should” live your life.
The inner work of learning to trust your weird intuition.
The practice of treating your body’s signals as invitations to level up instead of problems to fix.
Building up your internal power and self-trust so that when opportunity knocks, you don’t freeze like a deer in headlights.
Yet we look at other people’s leaps and think, “How the hell did they do that?” or “They must have something I don’t have.”
But you have everything within you that they have. I promise!
Over the years, I’ve discovered there’s actually a method to this soul-driven madness—a 5-step process that turns “impossible” dreams into inevitable reality.
The Science Behind Soul Over Should
Here’s what neuroscience tells us: 80% of the nerve signals in your autonomic nervous system run FROM your body TO your brain—not the other way around.
Translation? Your body’s wisdom is literally programming your brain’s decisions.
When you choose “should” over soul, you’re fighting against your body’s intelligence. When you choose soul over should, you’re aligning with your nervous system’s natural guidance system.
This isn’t woo-woo wishful thinking. It’s neurobiological reality.
My Soul Over Should Origin Story
Over a decade ago, I had a life that looked ridiculously good on paper. PhD in psychology. Head trauma psychologist at a Big 10 university. Nice fiancé. House. Dogs. Weekend barbecues that would make Martha Stewart weep with envy.
I had ticked every box of what would make me “successful.”
Yet I felt like I was walking around town wearing clothes that were 2 sizes too small. Everything that should have been amazing left me feeling like I was sleepwalking through my own life.
So I did what any rational person would do. I blew it all up. Not once, but multiple times. I was relentless in my pursuit of soul over shoulds.
Like leaving my partner and traveling the world (The Rockies, Hawaii, Bali, Australia, England, Malaysia, Thailand, Germany—basically everywhere except Antarctica, because I hate being cold!).
Like ditching my career as a psychologist to start a business based on the radical idea that transformation could actually be fun.
Like moving off-grid to Hawaii after finding a place on Craigslist and sending a $1000 deposit to a complete stranger. My friends thought I’d joined a cult. Honestly, I kind of did—the cult of following my soul.
Those quantum leaps weren’t accidents. They weren’t something I stumbled into while grocery shopping.
They happened because I learned to choose my soul over shoulds, those things that society told me I “should” do. Every. Single. Damn. Time.
So how do you do this yourself? Check out this 5-step formula and jump right in (literally!).
The 5-Step Soul Over Should Formula
Step 1: Listen to Your Body’s Intelligence
Your body is constantly sending you signals about what’s aligned and what isn’t. The trick is learning to decode them.
The Science: Your vagus nerve connects your gut to your brain, literally creating your “gut instincts.” When something is right for you, your nervous system relaxes. When you choose soul over shoulds you’ll feel it on a cellular level. When it’s wrong, you get physical tension, shallow breathing, or that “something’s off” feeling. That feeling that you’re putting on clothing that isn’t yours.
The Soul Practice:
- Notice how your body feels when you think about different options
- Pay attention to what energizes vs. drains you
- Trust the “uh-huh” or “nuh-uh” responses before your mind starts analyzing
Real Example: Within the first week working as a prison psychologist in a psychiatric prison in Texas, I woke up each morning with a stomach ache. My body knew before my mind did that this wasn’t my path.
Step 2: Get Curious About Your “Shoulds”
We all have an invisible list of shoulds running our lives. Most of them aren’t even ours—they’re hand-me-downs from family, society, or that inner voice I like to call your “inner asshole.”
The Science: Neuroplasticity research shows our brains create neural pathways based on repeated thoughts. When we constantly think in “shoulds,” we literally wire our brains for external validation instead of internal wisdom.
The Soul Practice:
- Write down your current shoulds (“I should be grateful,” “I should work harder,” “I should be happy”)
- Ask: “According to who?”
- Replace each should with “I choose to…” or “I want to…”
Real Example: I spent years thinking “I should be happy” with my perfect-on-paper life. When I changed it to “I want to create a life that actually makes me happy,” everything shifted.
Step 3: Build Your Quantum Leap Capacity
Back in 2016, I was all set to move to Bali. Then the volcano erupted and the news went gonzo with worst case scenerios.
My neighbor came over, eyes wide with panic. “What are you going to do?!” she asked, clearly expecting me to spiral into stress and cancel my move.
I just shrugged and said, “I’ll figure it out.” and departed on a plane 2 days later (the plane from Taiwan to Bali had about 6 people on it and I was upgraded to a first-class lay-flat berth – but that’s a story for another time!).
That unshakable trust in your ability to figure things out? That’s quantum leap capacity.
The Science: When your nervous system trusts you to handle whatever comes your way, your prefrontal cortex stays online during stress. This means you can access creativity, problem-solving, and strategic thinking even during uncertainty.
The Soul Practice:
- Start with small “figure it out” challenges (take an unplanned weekend trip, try a new hobby – especially something you could fail spectacularly at)
- Celebrate every time you successfully navigate uncertainty or even if you stay calm when things don’t go according to plan
- Build an evidence list of these wins that show you that you can trust yourself with bigger unknowns
The Result: Your nervous system and subconscious mind learn that change and uncertainty are adventures, not threats.
Step 4: Allow the Breakdown Before the Breakthrough
Every quantum leap requires letting go of what no longer serves you. This can feel like everything is falling apart right before it comes together.
The Science: Neurobiologically, this is called “adaptive stress.” Your brain is literally rewiring itself for a new reality, which temporarily disrupts your old patterns. And it can be super uncomfortable. But learning new things is never a comfortable practice. That discomfort isn’t a sign to turn around. It’s a sign of growth.
The Soul Practice:
- Expect some chaos during transitions (it’s not a sign you’re doing it wrong)
- Focus on your vision of where you’re going, not the discomfort of where you are
- Remember: If it’s not growing you, it’s limiting you
Real Example: When I left psychology, everyone thought I was crazy. I’d spent 6 years getting my PhD. But that discomfort was my soul demanding I stop shrinking myself to fit a life that was too small.
Step 5: Take the Leap Before You Feel Ready
Here’s the thing about quantum leaps: you’ll never feel 100% ready.
Readiness is a myth designed to keep you safe and small. To keep you perpetually in waiting mode.
The Science: Your brain’s job is to keep you alive, not help you thrive. It will always find reasons why now isn’t the “right” time. But research on successful entrepreneurs shows they consistently act on 70% certainty rather than waiting for 100%.
The Soul Practice:
- Look for your soul’s “uh-huh” rather than your mind’s complete certainty
- Take the next aligned action, even if you can’t see the whole path [Listen to the podcast: What Is Alignment and How To Get It]
- Trust that the bridge appears as you walk on it (just like Indiana Jones and the invisible bridge in The Last Crusade)
Real Example: I moved to Hawaii with just 2 suitcases and a Craigslist deposit to a stranger. Objectively insane. Soulfully inevitable.
What Happens When You Master Soul Over Should
When you consistently choose your soul over your shoulds, magic happens:
- Decision-making becomes effortless because you’re aligned with your internal guidance system
- Opportunities appear “out of nowhere” because you’re no longer blocking them with resistance
- Your energy expands instead of depletes because you’re flowing with your nature instead of fighting it
- Other people are magnetized to your authenticity because genuine self-expression is rare and compelling
[Listen to the Podcast: Are you Shoulding All Over Yourself?]
Your Soul Over Should Challenge
This week, I challenge you to experiment with soul over should energy. Pick one area where you’ve been shoulding yourself and ask:
- What does my soul actually want here?
- What would I choose if I trusted myself completely?
- What’s one small step toward that choice I could take today?
Then take that step. Trust the process. Let your soul show you what’s possible when you stop shrinking yourself to fit other people’s expectations.
Remember: Your soul has been guiding you toward your dreams all along. The only question is whether you’re brave enough to listen.
Ready to make your own quantum leap? The world needs your authentic gifts—not your polished performance of who you think you should be.
Dr. Ashlee Greer is a former psychologist turned joy-based transformation expert who helps people choose soul over should. She’s made quantum leaps from university and prison psychologist to off-grid Hawaii living, and now teaches others how to trust their inner wisdom for extraordinary life transformation
