Did you hear that I came down with Typhoid Fever two weeks ago?
Oh lawdy! It’s been a challenge to say the least. It’s like the stomach flu with a constant high-grade fever that could have ended up with quite severe health consequences if we hadn’t caught it when we did. What was even scarier was that I was sick with this, alone, in a foreign country. I had the support of my Balinese hosts. I had a friend who went and got me some charcoal. But there was no family or bestie or partner who was at my bedside holding my hand, assuring me everything was going to be okay.
And let me tell you, something like a tropical disease can really put things into perspective. It was scary. So let me ask you a couple of questions that went rolling around in my fever-addled brain over the past two weeks. Confronting the abyss of fear that losing your health makes you confront.
Now take a moment and think: What’s really important to you. Like really the most important thing to you. Because the truth is that most people are NOT going after what they really want. They’re going after a shadow desire – not the real core desire.
Here’s an example. I see hundreds of entrepreneurs online chasing “7 figure businesses”. But I ask myself whenever I see these posts “what is it that these people are really after?” Like a million dollars is cool and all. And I think we’d all like to have a million dollars – I mean, let’s get real. I’ll take a cool million. Hell yeah! But WHY. WHY do you want a million dollars? WHAT’S THE POINT?
Security. Safety. Something to fall back on. Sure. But most often, the reason that people want a 7 figure business is to show it off. To show off what they have to other people to demonstrate “I’ve made it. I’m important. I’m worthy of a million dollars. So I’m finally worthy enough.” The figure becomes a badge of worthiness. Something that the person has decided that will finally make them good enough. “Once my business is that big I’m going to feel like I’m so successful. I’m going to finally feel like I made it. I’ll finally feel like I can relax.”
Uuuum, yeah….. I’m going to call major bullsh*t on that. Because that’s just not how this works. You see, when you have a goal post, be it a million dollar a year business, a size 4 dress size, or a 6-foot tall handsome adoring husband. No matter what the goal posts are. If you’re hinging finally feeling good enough, or happy, or satisfied, or contented, or connected once you get there then you will always move the goal posts. Because, news flash, you’re not going to feel good enough once you get there. You’re still going to feel like you’re missing something (cuz worthiness, like happiness, like all of it, is an inside job).
Suddenly a 7 figure business is a “fluke” and you feel that you need to have an 8 or 9 figure business to have finally “made it” or be making an “impact”. You’ll feel like you still need to lose weight, be prettier, be more fit in order to be really happy with your body (this is why eating disorders and body dysmorphia is so prevalent in our society – cuz those goal posts keep moving!!). You’ll feel like you have to work really hard to earn the love of that husband, feeling insecure, wondering about the sincerity of your love. It hurts to think about.
But contentment just doesn’t come in the package of meeting a goal. It doesn’t come in the package of “finally getting what you want”. So, if you’re not going to be happy once you reach those goals, what’s the point of having those goals? The one and only singular reason to go after the goal is because it makes you feel happy in the seeking of it. Because you feel contentment, satisfaction, and gratitude in the seeking of it. Not ONLY in the achievement of it.
Because here’s the deal that hit me like a hurricane when I was sick out of my head, basically watching the walls swim in my fevered state.
- Life is for living NOW.
- Joy is for having NOW.
- Love is for sharing NOW.
- Happiness is for enjoying NOW.
- Contentment and satisfaction are dishes that you are to consume NOW.
Stop waiting and putting off till tomorrow or next week or next year or until the kids’ graduate or until your business is more successful or until you’ve healed more what you can have NOW. You have been given this audacious gift of LIFE. And unfortunately, sometimes it takes until we face an illness that