Ask Dr Ash – Loving Without A Response?

Ask Dr Ash – Loving Without A Response?

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QUESTION

What if you’re the one reaching out to someone with love and they never reach back?

DR. ASH

Then that’s about them, not about you. And you let them go on their way.

Otherwise, you’ll always be holding back love because you fear it won’t be returned. Which means you’re always standing in fear.

And you’re actually trying to control others with your love (think about it. If you withhold love only until you know it will be met how you want it to be met. You’re in a controlling state where you’re using love to manipulate someone to get what you want).

If we fearlessly contribute love to the world and then LET GO and let the other person do what they will. Not trying to control their responses. Not waiting around for them to do, think, or feel what we want.

Then you are contributing love in your full authenticity and self-respect. Then you are fully empowered and standing in our most divine embodied self. No fear. No shame. No guilt. Just pure radiating loving presence.

“If we fearlessly contribute love to the world and then LET GO and let the other person do what they will, then you are contributing love in your full authenticity and self-respect. You are fully empowered and standing in your most divine embodied self.” – Click to Tweet

Got a Question?

Got a question for Dr. Ash? Send them to support@ashleegreer.com and you may find your question featured in one of the upcoming editions!

 

 

Anxiety. Fear. Playing Small. Stuckness.

You’re living in a prison of your own making.

It’s time to change that forever.

 

Download NOW for FREE!

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help women who come from challenging backgrounds that have conditioned them to put others first to live a “hell yes” life where they leave the shoulds behind. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life where everything is possible and to connect with their own intuitive genius.

To stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, to give themselves permission to go after their own desires, to be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and to release the limiting beliefs that have made them feel selfish or self-centered for putting themselves first in the past.

I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. She’s powerfully psychic and has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.

Ask Dr. Ash – Loving The Takers in Life?

Ask Dr. Ash – Loving The Takers in Life?

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QUESTION

How do we show up from a loving place when other people have negative energy? When they’re takers and I don’t really want to be around them? I tend to swing between being distant and cold to being close and letting them walk all over me.

DR. ASH

So here’s the thing. As we approach our divine selves more and more we get more and more filled with unconditional love. Unconditional means people don’t have to earn it, people don’t have to be good people. We love them in virtue of just existing. For everyone. This can be difficult when we’re still clogged up with the feeling that we withdraw love when people hurt us or are assy. And our culture teaches us to do this. Withdraw love when others hurt us. But what if instead, we considered that our true nature is love. We are made of love. We can pour love on everyone at all times WHILE NOT PUTTING UP WITH ANY SHIT.

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you have to have them in your life, doesn’t mean you approve of them and their actions, doesn’t mean you have to be around them, and most certainly doesn’t mean you have to help them.

Asking yourself “what would love do” and then creating distance if you need it… even though you love the person. Love would not be short and snippy with people. But it would say “I can’t have an active relationship with you if you’re going to be like this.”

Boundaries are ultimately loving things that help you to create MORE intimacy and love in the right relationships.

“Boundaries are ultimately loving things that help you to create MORE intimacy and love in the right relationships.” – Click to Tweet

 Transform your life from an “I guess” to a “Hell Yes!” with this free ebook

It’s time to release the Toxicity & Trauma that’s been keeping you stuck for good.

 

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help women who come from challenging backgrounds that have conditioned them to put others first to live a “hell yes” life where they leave the shoulds behind. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life where everything is possible and to connect with their own intuitive genius.

To stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, to give themselves permission to go after their own desires, to be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and to release the limiting beliefs that have made them feel selfish or self-centered for putting themselves first in the past.

I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. She’s powerfully psychic and has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.

You are the Beloved You’ve Been Waiting For

You are the Beloved You’ve Been Waiting For

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All You Need Is You

Being your own best friend. Your own beloved.

Is one of the most important and powerful things you can ever do for yourself.

Because as you anchor into the knowing that you are SO loved by YOU then the NEED for others fades.

You Become Whole

You still want others and desire them. But only those who treat you with the same care, compassion, and value with which you treat yourself.

The neediness fades away from relationships, from your money story, from business, from every aspect of your life.

And you become whole with a sense of enoughness and worthiness that can never, ever be taken from you.

No matter what other people think.

You see, when you’re sitting around waiting for someone else to give you the love you crave, you’re sitting in a fundementally disempowered place that puts feeling good in the hands of others.

“I am the beloved I’ve been waiting for my entire life.” – Click to Tweet

The Ultra-Powerful Point In Your Personal Evolution

When you can finally look yourself in the eye and say:

 “You are the beloved I’ve been waiting for.”

  “You are my best friend.”

  “You are my trusted confidant.”

  “I trust you.”

  “I love you.”

  “You matter.”

  “And you’ve always been enough.”

And truly, deeply believe it.

You’ve come to the ultra-powerful point in your personal evolution where you stop settling for less. Where you drop the need for others approval. Where no one and no thing can ever determine your worthiness, your value, your enoughness ever again.

Because you’ve carved that shit out in stone on the pages of your heart.

You are the Beloved

Say it with me: “I am the beloved I’ve been waiting for my entire life.”

Sing it, sister!

Because YOU ARE THE BELOVED!!!

Supported And Loved

If you want epic and loving support, compassionate guidance, and gentle and nurturing pants kicking on your journey to a relationship with yourself that feels like you finally know down to your bones that YOU are the beloved, then sign up for an insight session below.

I have openings in both my low-cost membership (that includes group coaching, trainings, and psychic guidance and loads more for the cost of a cup of coffee per day).

OR, if you prefer personalized light-speed results, I have space in my 1:1 mentorship for you if you’re ready to own “I am the one.”

If you’re interested, book a free insight session below with me.

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help women who come from challenging backgrounds that have conditioned them to put others first to live a “hell yes” life where they leave the shoulds behind. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life where everything is possible and to connect with their own intuitive genius.

To stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, to give themselves permission to go after their own desires, to be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and to release the limiting beliefs that have made them feel selfish or self-centered for putting themselves first in the past.

I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. She’s powerfully psychic and has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.

Stop Protecting Those Who Failed to Protect You

Stop Protecting Those Who Failed to Protect You

For many years I have held myself back from naming many of the things that have happened to me.

In a conditioned belief that it was my job to protect those who didn’t protect me.

But I see now that I have cheated not only myself but my clients and those I impact, out of fear of speaking the truth.

Believing You Must Keep Silent

When you come from a background where you were abused, bullied, or made to feel like a terrible person you often carry a secret responsibility to “quietly hold the family secrets”.

So you silence yourself for fear of shaming or guilting others.

Not realizing that you’re actually silencing and shaming yourself.

There’s No Need to Hide

Be honest with yourself. Share your vulnerable heart. Stand up and own what happened in the past.

It does not define you.

It defines them.

There’s no need to hide it anymore.

It’s not your duty to protect them.

It’s time for YOU first now.

Because self-first is not self-ish

“Because self-first is not selfish.” – Click to Tweet

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help women who come from challenging backgrounds that have conditioned them to put others first to live a “hell yes” life where they leave the shoulds behind. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life where everything is possible and to connect with their own intuitive genius.

To stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, to give themselves permission to go after their own desires, to be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and to release the limiting beliefs that have made them feel selfish or self-centered for putting themselves first in the past.

I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. I’m powerfully psychic and have over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.

This is the Opposite of Self-Protection

This is the Opposite of Self-Protection

I deeply understand what it’s like to be so afraid of being yourself that you tuck yourself away into self-protection. Where you refuse to show everyone all of you for fear that they won’t get it. I understand it because I’ve lived it.

 

When It Feels Like A Threat to Be You

I’ve lived in that place where it’s a threat to be all of me. A threat to live fully from my heart, and instead choosing to tuck it away so deep inside. Thinking that this will save me from being hurt by the rejection of others.

I’ve been in that place where I feel that self-protection trumps everything. That putting up walls is more important than building bridges.

But here’s the thing about living from a place of self-protection.

Self-Protection Won’t Give You:

You will never get what you want.

You’ll never feel free if you’re set up in a prison of your own need to be “safe”.

You’ll never feel loved or be able to truly love others if you’re always walled into a feeling that “other people will hurt me”.

You’ll never take the risks which are vulnerable and hard and might hurt but WILL lead you to the biggest and best results you’ve ever imagined.

The Opposite Of Self-Protection:

The opposite of self-protection is not just being totally naively open and just taking whatever other people want to dump on you.

The opposite of self-protection is being open and discerning. Is having standards and trusting yourself to deal with it when other people don’t approve.

The opposite of self-protection is self-love.

Do You Truly Love Yourself?

Because when you’re living from a place of self-protection, you’re actually not living in a place of true self-love.

Because a part of you refuses to trust the world. Refuses to trust that you’re good enough. Refuses to trust that you’ll be okay. Refuses to trust YOU because you don’t really love you. Not fully. Not enough to say “here I am. All of me. And I love me enough that if you don’t accept me that’s fine.”

 

“Your self-love determines your standards. Your standards determine your reality.” – Click to Tweet

 

And if you’re just in self-protection you’re not even letting yourself have standards. You’re just taking what you think is “safe” to let through the walls of your heart. Instead of taking in what you really most deeply want.

It all comes down to deep and abiding self-love.

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help women who come from challenging backgrounds that have conditioned them to put others first to live a “hell yes” life where they leave the shoulds behind. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life where everything is possible and to connect with their own intuitive genius.

To stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, to give themselves permission to go after their own desires, to be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and to release the limiting beliefs that have made them feel selfish or self-centered for putting themselves first in the past.

I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. I’m powerfully psychic and have over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.

Important – 2 weeks with Typhoid

Important – 2 weeks with Typhoid

Oh gurrrl!

Did you hear that I came down with Typhoid Fever two weeks ago?

Oh lawdy! It’s been a challenge to say the least. It’s like the stomach flu with a constant high-grade fever that could have ended up with quite severe health consequences if we hadn’t caught it when we did. What was even scarier was that I was sick with this, alone, in a foreign country. I had the support of my Balinese hosts. I had a friend who went and got me some charcoal. But there was no family or bestie or partner who was at my bedside holding my hand, assuring me everything was going to be okay.

And let me tell you, something like a tropical disease can really put things into perspective. It was scary. So let me ask you a couple of questions that went rolling around in my fever-addled brain over the past two weeks. Confronting the abyss of fear that losing your health makes you confront.

Now take a moment and think: What’s really important to you. Like really the most important thing to you. Because the truth is that most people are NOT going after what they really want. They’re going after a shadow desire – not the real core desire.

Here’s an example. I see hundreds of entrepreneurs online chasing “7 figure businesses”. But I ask myself whenever I see these posts “what is it that these people are really after?” Like a million dollars is cool and all. And I think we’d all like to have a million dollars – I mean, let’s get real. I’ll take a cool million. Hell yeah! But WHY. WHY do you want a million dollars? WHAT’S THE POINT?

Security. Safety. Something to fall back on. Sure. But most often, the reason that people want a 7 figure business is to show it off. To show off what they have to other people to demonstrate “I’ve made it. I’m important. I’m worthy of a million dollars. So I’m finally worthy enough.” The figure becomes a badge of worthiness. Something that the person has decided that will finally make them good enough. “Once my business is that big I’m going to feel like I’m so successful. I’m going to finally feel like I made it. I’ll finally feel like I can relax.”

Uuuum, yeah….. I’m going to call major bullsh*t on that. Because that’s just not how this works. You see, when you have a goal post, be it a million dollar a year business, a size 4 dress size, or a 6-foot tall handsome adoring husband. No matter what the goal posts are. If you’re hinging finally feeling good enough, or happy, or satisfied, or contented, or connected once you get there then you will always move the goal posts. Because, news flash, you’re not going to feel good enough once you get there. You’re still going to feel like you’re missing something (cuz worthiness, like happiness, like all of it, is an inside job).

Suddenly a 7 figure business is a “fluke” and you feel that you need to have an 8 or 9 figure business to have finally “made it” or be making an “impact”. You’ll feel like you still need to lose weight, be prettier, be more fit in order to be really happy with your body (this is why eating disorders and body dysmorphia is so prevalent in our society – cuz those goal posts keep moving!!). You’ll feel like you have to work really hard to earn the love of that husband, feeling insecure, wondering about the sincerity of your love. It hurts to think about.

But contentment just doesn’t come in the package of meeting a goal. It doesn’t come in the package of “finally getting what you want”. So, if you’re not going to be happy once you reach those goals, what’s the point of having those goals? The one and only singular reason to go after the goal is because it makes you feel happy in the seeking of it. Because you feel contentment, satisfaction, and gratitude in the seeking of it. Not ONLY in the achievement of it.

Because here’s the deal that hit me like a hurricane when I was sick out of my head, basically watching the walls swim in my fevered state.

  • Life is for living NOW.
  • Joy is for having NOW.
  • Love is for sharing NOW.
  • Happiness is for enjoying NOW.
  • Contentment and satisfaction are dishes that you are to consume NOW.

Stop waiting and putting off till tomorrow or next week or next year or until the kids’ graduate or until your business is more successful or until you’ve healed more what you can have NOW. You have been given this audacious gift of LIFE. And unfortunately, sometimes it takes until we face an illness that