Letting Go Of What’s Not Serving You

Key Takeaways:

• Letting go of what no longer serves you is just as important as stepping into what you want. Examine behaviors, relationships, business strategies that aren’t aligned.
• Let go of the “shoulds” – the notion that things should look a certain way or you’re supposed to act a certain way. Follow your own rhythm.
• You may be clinging to something out of a false sense of needing it. Loosen your grip and make space.
• Let go of the need for certainty. Certainty doesn’t exist. Take courageous action without needing to know the outcome.
• Let go of thinking you have all the answers. Embrace beginner’s mind, be open to learning, even if it means surrendering what you thought you knew.

So today we’re going to be talking about letting go of what’s not really serving you.

Many times when we’re talking about really stepping into this eight figure CEO mindset and really feeling on fire and having all of this momentum in our business, we talk about stepping into what we really want and what we really desire and into our future self and into our vision.

And all of these are really super important aspects of creating the life that we desire.

But equally as important, and perhaps something we don’t talk about enough or a lot, is that we have to be willing to let go of what’s not serving us, of what isn’t in alignment with our path, with what is no longer the choices, decisions, behaviors that will serve us in this next chapter.

So you have to be both willing to step into being the person who has the thing, who has the business that you want, the income that you want, the life that you want, the relationships that you want, all of these things.

But you also have to be willing to let go of the things that don’t align with the person that you truly are.

So this might be any degree of thing we think of things that we might need to let go of, as in like, oh, maybe I need to let go of that relationship, or maybe I need to let go of that decision or that self doubt.

But sometimes the things that we need to let go of are our preconceived notions of what it’s going to look like or that the questions that we think we are supposed to be asking or the pathway that we’re supposed to be walking down or, yeah, sometimes it can be relationships. Sometimes it can be business structures or strategies or modalities or types of clients or pricing.

Structures can be any constellation of things. A lot of times it’s these deeper layers of ourselves that we need to look at and really release and let go of. Yes, things like self doubt, but that’s kind of a broad category, a really broad stroke.

Instead, maybe it’s things like, I get to stand up and be bossy if I feel like it, but I’ve been told my whole life that it’s not okay to be bossy. Well, guess who isn’t afraid to be bossy? People who don’t have self doubt. People who are confident, people who are in their CEO energy.

But it’s that little corner, that little behavior. Maybe it’s not so little, but of, say, being bossy that we’ve internalized to say it’s not okay to do that. One that I keep seeing in the momentum trackers is it’s not okay to rest.

It’s not okay to take a step back. It’s not okay to go inward and to find the answers within me when those things are perfectly valid and those things have so much value and those things have so much utility, and they’re still actually taking action and they’re still making choices and they’re still walking the path. However, we’ve all been indoctrinated and we’ve all been, you know, told by our society anything short of go, go, go energy is doing nothing, is being lazy, sitting back on our laurels and not taking things seriously.

When anytime that we are actually choosing, anytime that we are actually actively saying, this is what I’m doing, we are actually walking the path. We are continuing to walk the path. It’s all of those shoulds that we’re buying into the shoulds.

I should be doing this, I should be doing that, that end up screwing us over. If I want to encourage you to let go of anything, it’s to let go of those shoulds. That it should look a certain way, that it should be this perfect, that I’m supposed to act this certain way, that I’m supposed to do things this certain way.

I hope that by now you realize that your own rhythm, your own heartbeat of your business is unique to you and is unique to your path. And you need to let go of anything that says you’re supposed to do it one way or another.

Suppose dos and shoulds are the same thing, but, you know, really letting go of all those preconceived notions of what you’re supposed to do or what you should do and how you should do it?

You know, what do you need to let go of in order to step into this next chapter, in order to step into this new iteration of yourself, into your highest self?

What personality traits, habits, relationships, fears, what would you need to cut on a different level? What do you need to delegate? What is it that you need to hand off to somebody else and not take responsibility for?

That could be things like in your business, like putting up your social media posts, but it could also be taking responsibility for other people’s feelings, taking responsibility for other people’s happiness, taking responsibility for all kinds of things in your life that end up becoming a burden to you, end up taking your energetic space time bandwidth and blocking you from stepping into your next iteration because they suck up so much energy.

So to get to your goals, to get to your dreams, to get to your desires, there is something that you need to let go of.

There may be something, in fact, that you have been white knuckling your way through, you know, holding on for dear life to this thing because you think, well, I must need this thing, at least.

In one of our recent calls we talked about, clarity is something that we seek, but certainty is something that we can never find.

Certainty may be one of these things that you need to let go of the desire and need for certainty to know that this will work, that this is the absolute answer. Because the truth is, there are no absolute answers in life. There are no black and white.

This is a 100% yes. Can we be 70% of the way there? Yeah, absolutely. That’s when we take action, and then we act like the scientists, and we make tweaks and we make adjustments based upon the data that we receive.

But if we’re waiting for certainty, as you guys know, we’re fucked. If you’re waiting for certainty, you’re fucked, because certainty never comes. Certainty is an illusion.

Certainty is a bedtime story we tell ourselves so that we’re no longer afraid. But the truth is, fear’s just a fact of life. Fear’s nothing to be afraid of.

That’s just something to listen to and say, okay, you don’t really have anything interesting to say. You can go over there and take a seat. But we don’t want to be fearless.

We don’t want to step back and say, I can’t have fear, just like you don’t want certainty. If you knew every day, if you knew what was going to happen every day for the rest of your life, how fricking boring would that be?

How fricking boring would that be?

And so letting go of things like needing certainty and white knuckling and holding onto that for dear life because you think that without it, everything’s going to fall apart.

So asking yourself questions like, how can I let go of this? Because I’ve held onto it for so long, how can I let go of this? Because this is the way I’ve made money in the past.

If you have something pop into your head immediately when I say, what do you need to let go of? Chances are that’s the thing you need to let go of now. You don’t have to burn anything down. You don’t have to throw it all out.

You don’t have to destroy it or anything like that. But maybe there’s something that you’ve been doing for a while just need to loosen your grip on. You know, one of my favorite, actually isms is we can’t accept a bouquet of flour if our hands are full of shit.

And chances are there’s something that you’ve been holding onto that have kept your hands busy, occupied, full of something that’s less than what you want, which holds you back from accepting and stepping into what you truly do want instead.

So it might be a quality or a habit that you’re identifying with that you need to let go of. Like the bossy example that I was saying earlier.

Now, it can be really easy when it comes to things that we let go of, to think about things like our personality traits or things outside of us. Like I need to let go of my, I don’t know, smoke cigarettes or something, and I need to let go of smoking cigarettes or something like that. This habit.

But sometimes what we need to let go of is thinking that we have the answers. And that might sound paradoxical and that might sound confusing. But when we are in a mentorship program like you are right now, or when we are in a coaching container, or when we are learning something new, or when we are creating a new offer, or when we’re trying to put our neck out and do something that’s courageous that we haven’t done before, a lot of times, going back to the certainty discussion, we go back to thinking that we either should know it or we know a lot of things.

And I’m just going to continue to do it this way because this is the way that I know how to do it. I want to encourage you to let go of either needing to know the answers, having the answers, or feeling like you know what you’re doing. And I know that might sound terrifying, but this is the essence of beginner’s mind, to really urge you and encourage you to embrace this sense of I can be a beginner.

I can feel a little bit like I’m not sure what’s going on, and you can still be safe, and you can still feel that safety and that nourishment in your nervous system, and you can still walk the path without that perfect certainty, without that perfect clarity, even, you know, setting the intention to show up as the student and just be open to the next path, whether that’s the student in the mentorship program or the student of your own heart, show up with that growth mindset, even when you hear the same person say the same thing the 20th time, as you’ve probably heard me say a lot of these things over and over again, I say them because we forget, we so easily forget that the rhythm of our own heart and soul is the path to follow. So when you’re in your ego, when you’re in the I know everything energy that doesn’t serve you, and that ends up being the place where we need to let go and allow uncertainty, allow unknowing, allow spaciousness to fill the gap and to allow us to find the path. So can you step back and learn? When you’re in that mindset, the most amazing things can happen.

But if you’re saying, I know this already, or I should know this already, or, well, I’ve got this way that I’ve always done it, and I’ll just keep doing it that way. You’re not actually embodying that mad scientist energy that says, I’m going to discover the path. That’s right.

You’re not in your heart, you’re not in your soul that says, even if it means letting go of what I thought I knew, I’m willing and open to doing that because I am willing and open and courageous enough to embrace the new. Even if that means I don’t have a clue. And I’m not trying to rhyme, it’s just happening anyway, asking yourself, have you embodied this sense of I will allow this surrender, to embody this surrender where I will let go of anything that is not on my highest path? Have you embodied it? And will you allow that spaciousness to come in now? Whatever that meant to you, take a moment and write it down and write down what it is you feel as though you might need to let go of now, and I’ll see you soon.