[PODCAST] Everyday Codependency

[PODCAST] Everyday Codependency

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Leaving Behind Toxic Relationships

This week I have a VERY special podcast episode to share with you.

A few months ago I did a podcast with a fellow therapist Lourdes Viado on leaving behind toxic relationships. Particularly those relationships you may feel guilty about leaving behind.

The podcast ended up being one of her top 10 and she invited me back to talk about the subject of my upcoming book Everyday Codependency.

Everyday Codependency

Everyday Codependency is the idea that many people who have had toxicity and trauma in the past try to leverage enough love in their lives either through helping other people or controlling other people.

This is what it looks like:

 You grew up (or had a foundational relationship) with someone who “invalidated” your emotions.

“Don’t cry. You’re stressing out your mother”
“You can’t be hungry, you just ate”
“Why are you such a drama queen”

You picked up that you just shouldn’t be a “bother” and needed to be a “good girl” and not make waves.

 This made it so that you felt that you couldn’t trust your emotional experience and you couldn’t ever really be yourself. You had to “behave” how people wanted you to behave in order to be loved. And so you started to feel you had to earn love.

So you started to do whatever you could to make that happen.

And often times this looked like you overhelping, or doing whatever you felt you “should” to make other people happy.

It’s a Coping Mechanism

The good news? This is a coping mechanism that can be changed (unlike the old tired codependency theories that conceptualize this as something that happens with an alcoholic partner).

This means that you are fundamentally EMPOWERED to change your entire life and feel a sense of happiness, worthiness, and contentment in the here and now.

 Not once you’ve earned it.
 Not once you’ve been given permission.
 Not once other people are happy.

But right the eff now.

Doesn’t that sound amazing?

So be sure to check out the podcast to dive into this groundbreaking topic and determine how to start making changes in your own life.

“Boundaries aren’t about setting the boundary. It’s about reinforcing the boundary.” – Click to Tweet

Your True Self Can Be Free, Content, and Confident

Did you know that I specialize in helping women who have had a narcissistic, hypercritical, or judgmental person in their past that made them feel they had to earn love?

To feel like they are entitled to their dreams and desires.

To feel empowered to feel all of their emotions, to ask for their needs to be met, and to be who they truly are.

And to drop all of the guilt and shame that they’ve learned to cope with because of this “toxic cycle”.

And right now I’ve just opened up a couple of spots for new coaching clients like you to help you evolve into your truest self.

Your true self is free, content, confident, and no longer tiptoeing on eggshells around everyone else.

If this is you I want to invite you to a free 30-minute insight session with me.

In it, we’ll talk about the patterns that have been holding you back from living a life of truth, self-expression, and happiness.

One of my clients said that the first 20 minutes she spent working with me made a bigger impact than 20 years of therapy.

Grab your spot now!

If you’re ready for a ‘hell yes‘ life, join The Abundance Revolution TODAY!

Anxiety. Fear. Playing Small. Stuckness.

You’re living in a prison of your own making.

It’s time to change that forever.

 

Download NOW for FREE!

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help women who come from challenging backgrounds that have conditioned them to put others first to live a “hell yes” life where they leave the shoulds behind. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life where everything is possible and to connect with their own intuitive genius.

To stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, to give themselves permission to go after their own desires, to be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and to release the limiting beliefs that have made them feel selfish or self-centered for putting themselves first in the past.

I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. She’s powerfully psychic and has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.

The Unsexy Truth About Growth

The Unsexy Truth About Growth

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That’s Not How Growth Works

Most people believe that significant change happens overnight. Some big “ah ha” moment happens, and suddenly everything is different. That they’re totally different. You go from being miserable in your life to being cheerfully optimistic and living on the other side of the world.

Nope. That’s not how growth works.

You Must Put in the Work

If you’re waiting for the big “ah ha” moments to grow and quit every time you don’t have one – then you’ll always find yourself quitting. You’ll always find yourself staying in the same place.

Growth isn’t a race. It’s a journey.

You must put in the work every single day.

Growth is Not Sexy

I know, that’s not sexy. It’s not what most people want to hear.

Our society is addicted to instant gratification. They think that something that takes 30 minutes will change them for life.

But real growth takes time and the application of repeated behaviors again and again and again.

“Real growth takes time and the application of repeated behaviors again and again and again. The concept is simple. But it’s not easy.” – Click to Tweet

It’s Really Simple

The concept is simple. But it’s not easy.

 Want to change your thinking? Pay attention to your thoughts and choose different – again and again and again.
 Want to be healthier? Choose nourishing foods and get active every day. Make the choice again and again and again.
 Want to be a best selling author? Start writing every single day. Write and write and write. Choose your writing again and again. Hone your craft. Get better each day. And eventually, you’ll have one book. Soon you’ll have written many.

The Journey Starts with a Single Step

Life is not a series of huge revelations that result in lasting change. It’s mostly made up of small decisions that lead to big changes. Many many small decisions. Each one getting you closer to your goal.

Like Gandhi said “The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.”

What we fail to realize is that that journey then proceeds with steps 2-10 million. One step at a time is how we get to our goals.

What Are You Choosing?

Wake up every day and choose who you want to be.

Put in even 5 minutes toward being that person every day. And you’ll build unbeatable momentum toward being the person you want to be and having the life you’ve always dreamed of.

“Rome wasn’t built in a day.” And neither was your highest self.

You are unveiled through your repeated decisions.

What are you choosing?

If you’re ready for a ‘hell yes‘ life, join The Abundance Revolution TODAY!

Anxiety. Fear. Playing Small. Stuckness.

You’re living in a prison of your own making.

It’s time to change that forever.

Download NOW for FREE!

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help women who come from challenging backgrounds that have conditioned them to put others first to live a “hell yes” life where they leave the shoulds behind. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life where everything is possible and to connect with their own intuitive genius.

To stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, to give themselves permission to go after their own desires, to be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and to release the limiting beliefs that have made them feel selfish or self-centered for putting themselves first in the past.

I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. She’s powerfully psychic and has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.

Ask Dr Ash – Is it Intuition or Fear?

Ask Dr Ash – Is it Intuition or Fear?

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QUESTION

Dear Ash, I’m having trouble distinguishing between my gut instinct and a reaction based on fear/anxiety.

For example, someone new wants to collaborate with you on a proposed work project. It sounds like a great opportunity.

But there’s a feeling there that things may not be as peachy as they seem.

You wonder if the feeling is a gut reaction to the person/situation actually being too good to be true/something being off but you can’t pinpoint why. OR if the feeling is just you overthinking things (even if it’s only been a minute), jumping to fear-based conclusions that you normally fall back on to keep yourself down subconsciously.

Like the situation really could be one of those too good to be true but it’s actually true if you have the courage to go for it situations.

OR, it could end up being too good to be true and you end up screwed in the end. Hindsight is 20/20 but very unhelpful when trying to make decisions.

– Shifting out of Hindsight

DR. ASH

Hey Hindsight!

This is such a great question! And something that I often have clients ask me about.

Gut feeling, or intuition, is one of the most powerful forces in your toolkit for life. Yet many people don’t know how to use it effectively. They may often get nudges that tell them something.

But more often than not they come up with reasons that they’re nudges are wrong. One way this shows up is telling yourself you’re “being judgmental” when someone doesn’t feel right or you aren’t quite sure why you don’t like someone.

Instead of leaning into the self-trust that says “this is a sign and I need to step back and observe” we often brush our intuition aside, criticize ourselves for being judgmental, and then find out later that the person in question was not someone we wanted to get involved with.

I especially see this with people when they encounter a narcissist. They feel something is “off” but the person “seems so nice” and is so charming they convince themselves that they’re wrong and that they can’t trust themselves.

Yep, you guessed it, following your intuition comes down to self-trust. Do you trust your judgment? Do you trust yourself? Do you trust the universe (source, divine, God – or whatever resonates for you).

When you come from a background of Toxicity and Trauma you’ve often been taught not to trust yourself. This happens because of years of invalidation.

What’s invalidation? It’s when someone tells you that your inner feelings are wrong. To “suck it up” because you can’t possibly be hungry, you just ate. You can’t possibly be tired, you got plenty of sleep. You shouldn’t be sad, that’s stupid. Or you can’t trust your gut instinct, that’s stupid.

Your faith in yourself, and your trust in your gut, gets slowly stripped away by years of conditioning that tells you ever so subtly that you cannot be trusted. And that you absolutely cannot, and should not, trust your inner world.

So what happens? You discount it. You find reasons that your gut, or your intuition is wrong. You find ways to invalidate yourself even after those people are gone who gave you those subtle messages all your life.

So now, back to your specific question about whether it’s a nudge/ intuition/ gut or it’s fear because of self-sabotage… Yes, self-sabotage is a real issue.

Many people are afraid of success and so find ways to find “reasonable excuses” for not following through on opportunities that would lead to really amazing things for them.

But at the end of the day, both of these things are a false internal dialogue that’s telling you “you’re wrong. You can’t trust yourself. You can’t trust the world”.

When you get an intuitive nudge it feels like something is off. There’s not a good reason for it. The way I like to explain it is it almost feels like you put the movie on slow motion. Things slow down and you wonder if they should speed up.

So how do you differentiate this from fear? You sit with it. That’s right. You sit with the feeling that you’re getting and you have a chat with it. You ask it “what am I afraid of? What is it about this situation that doesn’t feel right? How do I actually feel right now? What’s the worst case scenario?”

You give the fear a voice so that you can actually hear what it’s trying to tell you. Only when you look that feeling straight in the face can you hear what it’s saying.

Only then can you collect data on what the feeling is telling you. You see, feelings are data. They are communicating information to us. And when we don’t trust our feelings and are disconnected from them, we’re losing out on a whole source of information that can help us on our path.

So when you close your eyes, slow down, take a breath and feel into it – how do you feel? (now this “how do you feel” exercise will look very different for a man walking toward you in a dark alley than a business opportunity. So keep in mind that this example isn’t meant to be blanketly applied to everything in your life).

  Maybe you feel an irrational level of fear, a fear of annihilation. That you’ll die. Why on earth would you feel that way for a business opportunity? That indicates that there’s very likely a subconscious fear motivating this that has nothing to do with the opportunity and has everything to do with your fears about what will happen if you succeed (or fail).

 Maybe you feel a small fear and are able to easily identify what it’s about. Perhaps this person has a history of biting off more than they can chew and shirking their responsibilities and making others pick up the slack. And your fear is telling you that this person may very well do this exact thing again during this collaboration. This is good data that can empower you to either not choose to collaborate or be VERY clear and get a contract with the person about who is responsible for what.

 Or perhaps when you really sit with the feeling it’s not exactly fear you’re feeling. It’s a sense of your feet being stuck on the floor and being unable to move forward. This can be two things. It can be resistance (which is often an indicator of #1 above). OR, it can be intuition telling you that this opportunity is not ideal for you. How do you tell the difference? Resistance looks like avoidance, like denial, like an inability to look at the thing that you’re considering. Intuition feels like a calm certainty. Even if the calm certainty is saying “don’t move” it actually wouldn’t feel like fear (in this example). It would feel like an inner knowing.

Some other things to consider:

 Connect with where you feel your intuition in your body. And get to know what your intuitive nudges feel like so you can easily identify them. The more you practice the easier this gets.

 Wait. Breathe. Slow down. And even ask yourself multiple times. Do not rush into a decision as the adrenaline of “I have to choose right now!” can often mask itself as anxiety, excitement, and fear. I will often step away from an opportunity and just let my emotions settle down so that I can really feel into how the situation feels to me before I make a decision rather than impulsively choosing based on adrenaline. I highly recommend you try this too.

“Following your intuition comes down to self-trust.” – Click to Tweet

Want to Know More?

If you want more guidance on how to tell the difference between resistance and an inner intuitive nudge to “wait,” there is a live masterclass in The Abundance Revolution about this exact topic next week on January 15th.

And for a limited time, you can try out the group for 2 weeks for only $22.

During this workshop, I’ll be sharing specific examples from my own life including a time when I was given the nudge to “wait” and didn’t listen with life-threatening consequences!

Plus, other times I was in category #1 above and was waiting when in fact it was just an excuse to keep playing small.

Plus, there’s a past masterclass in the group all about how to really anchor into what your intuition feels like and how to practice with it to make it stronger.

If you’ve always wanted to empower yourself to trust yourself and your intuition now is the time to join The Abundance Revolution. Just click the button below to check it out and join us.

If you’re ready for a ‘hell yes‘ life, join The Abundance Revolution TODAY!

Got a Question?

Got a question for Dr. Ash? Send them to support@ashleegreer.com and you may find your question featured in one of the upcoming editions!

Anxiety. Fear. Playing Small. Stuckness.

You’re living in a prison of your own making.

It’s time to change that forever.

Download NOW for FREE!

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help women who come from challenging backgrounds that have conditioned them to put others first to live a “hell yes” life where they leave the shoulds behind. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life where everything is possible and to connect with their own intuitive genius.

To stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, to give themselves permission to go after their own desires, to be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and to release the limiting beliefs that have made them feel selfish or self-centered for putting themselves first in the past.

I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. She’s powerfully psychic and has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.

Ask Dr. Ash – Loving The Takers in Life?

Ask Dr. Ash – Loving The Takers in Life?

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QUESTION

How do we show up from a loving place when other people have negative energy? When they’re takers and I don’t really want to be around them? I tend to swing between being distant and cold to being close and letting them walk all over me.

DR. ASH

So here’s the thing. As we approach our divine selves more and more we get more and more filled with unconditional love. Unconditional means people don’t have to earn it, people don’t have to be good people. We love them in virtue of just existing. For everyone. This can be difficult when we’re still clogged up with the feeling that we withdraw love when people hurt us or are assy. And our culture teaches us to do this. Withdraw love when others hurt us. But what if instead, we considered that our true nature is love. We are made of love. We can pour love on everyone at all times WHILE NOT PUTTING UP WITH ANY SHIT.

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you have to have them in your life, doesn’t mean you approve of them and their actions, doesn’t mean you have to be around them, and most certainly doesn’t mean you have to help them.

Asking yourself “what would love do” and then creating distance if you need it… even though you love the person. Love would not be short and snippy with people. But it would say “I can’t have an active relationship with you if you’re going to be like this.”

Boundaries are ultimately loving things that help you to create MORE intimacy and love in the right relationships.

“Boundaries are ultimately loving things that help you to create MORE intimacy and love in the right relationships.” – Click to Tweet

 Transform your life from an “I guess” to a “Hell Yes!” with this free ebook

It’s time to release the Toxicity & Trauma that’s been keeping you stuck for good.

 

Hi! I’m Dr. Ash

I help women who come from challenging backgrounds that have conditioned them to put others first to live a “hell yes” life where they leave the shoulds behind. My clients learn to live a passion-filled, turned-on, lit-up life where everything is possible and to connect with their own intuitive genius.

To stop prioritizing other people’s opinions, to give themselves permission to go after their own desires, to be deeply self-expressed, self-confident, vibrant, and to release the limiting beliefs that have made them feel selfish or self-centered for putting themselves first in the past.

I have my Ph.D. in psychology, was the director of two multi-million dollar international coach training schools. She’s powerfully psychic and has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful.

Cheap, Easy Personal Growth In Just 5 Minutes Per Day

Cheap, Easy Personal Growth In Just 5 Minutes Per Day

It’s journaling. Journaling every day.

It’s way easier than you think.

Journaling will help increase:

 

*    Creative thinking

*    Ability to problem solve

*    Emotional stability

*    Increase Goal Focused Behavior

*    Accountability and Inner integrity

*    Understanding of your patterns

*    Confidence in your OWN wisdom

*    Your Gratitude

*    Daily Presence (fewer days slipping away from you)

*    Writing Abilities

*    Generation of New Ideas

*    Accountability

*    Resiliency

*    Connection

*    Clarity

*    Detachment

*    Forgiveness

*    Letting go

*    Manifestations

*    Surrender

*    Confidence

*    Empowerment

 

How can something as simple as putting your pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard in the case of many of us) create such epic change? Because you’re getting all of that noise out of your head that’s been spinning around in there for far too long. It purges out the old and makes way for the new.

It creates a blank canvas that stimulates ideas.

It allows for mistakes, experimentation, and play in ways you wouldn’t normally do in public or working with others. 

It allows you a place to bounce all your ideas around, to process all of your emotions, to capture your highest highs and embrace your lowest lows.

A journal is like a really amazing girlfriend who listens to you without judgment.

 

Don’t know where to start or have found journaling to be a pain in the rumpkus in the past?

 

Start by just writing down what happens each day. Like you would catch up a girlfriend on what’s going on in your life when you first see each other. Eventually, if you carve out even 5 minutes per day to journal, you’ll begin to delve into essential emotional depths that will help you work through long lost blockages and emotional difficulties. You’ll explore new ideas and new horizons. And you’ll be brainstorming up a storm.

 

5 months ago I made a commitment to write every single day. I still miss a day here and there. But generally I write copious amounts every day and it’s made my creativity pour from me like it never has before. I’m never at a loss for what to think about, what idea to develop, or how I may be lacking clarity. I’m always deeply in touch with my emotional reality so that it’s not sitting like a sneaky sabateur in my subconscious. I receive divine guidance. I catch myself when I’m falling into old outdated thinking patterns like self-blame or complaining. I see how through time my ideas change.

 

Every day I start a new document on my computer with “Daily Writing” plus the date. I will add a notation in the saved name on my computer if something significant came up that day that I need to refer to later like “Daily Writing: 10/27/2017: Marketing Plan”. Research does show that typing activates different parts of the brain that does hand writing. However, I would never be as prodigious in my writing if I hand write. 

 

I’ve broken my arms 6 different times (long story short, I was a clutsy tomboy growing up). But the side effect of that is that hand-writing hurts my hand and my wrist after a while. Plus, it’s slow as molassas. I’m a very quick thinker and when I can’t write down my ideas as fast as they’re coming to me it gets frustrating.

 

That’s how I felt when I was attempting to force myself to hand write in order to journal. Now that I type I do all sorts of stuff in that document each day. I brainstorm, make lists, channel the divine, work through emotional stuff, report on what happened that day, celebrate, set intentions… all kinds of stuff.

 

I’ll often write 15 + single spaced pages per day using this technique and by NOT differentating what I’m writing into different documents. I even write blog posts in my journal about half the time. Then it’s quick and easy to copy and paste my ideas into a blog post, a Facebook post, a document related to a project, or to my master to-do list.

It’s made my life so much easier.  It’s been the most important thing I’ve done in a long time. Just sitting down and letting it all pour out of me onto the page.

If there’s one thing I can recommend you do, it’s this. Journal every single day and get to know the inner guru inside of you that has the answers you’ve been seeking.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++

 

It’s time to finally tune in and listen to that inner guru inside of you. The one that knows the quickest and easiest path o your highest self. No more looking to others for the answers. But knowing that they’re all inside of you. My 1:1 coaching will help you listen to your inner knowing, embrace your untamed and freest self, and acknowledge your greateness. 

SNAG A SPOT ON MY CALENDAR TO SEE IF THIS IS FOR YOU

The myth of control. How to feel your way out of the chaos.

The myth of control. How to feel your way out of the chaos.

Control.

 

It’s a really touchy subject – especially for women.

 

So many clients get on the phone with me the first time and say “I just want to have a greater sense of control in my life”. 

 

Whoa nelly. Unfortunately, that’s not really possible. In fact, control is a myth.

 

It’s a common desire – for more control. To be able to control other people. To control our circumstances. To control the way our life rolls out. To control every ebb and flow, twist and turn.

 

I’ve been there myself. I fall into that trap. But each and every time I have to remind myself….

 

It’s just not possible to have total control. 

 

Now, before you go outside and gather stones to throw at me – let’s talk this out.

 

When we desire more control in our life it’s because things are feeling chaotic. Things feel out of hand. We don’t know where things are going or how we’re going to get there. We think that the only way things will work out for us is to clamp down and try to control the person or event.

 

But you can’t control other people. And you can’t control everything that happens to you. 

When we desire more control in our lives we’re essentially subscribing to the belief that we should be able to control others, control their actions, control the way they treat us, control their feelings, control the seasons, control the weather, control our boss, control gas prices. You name it, we think we should be able to control it.

 

But by thinking that we can control these things we back ourselves into a corner of fear and frustration. We get angry that things aren’t aligning the way that we think that they “should”. We get irritated that other people aren’t doing what we think that they “should”. We get afraid because “things just shouldn’t be this way”.

 

That’s a whole lot of useless “shoulding” going on.

 

Whenever you ask yourself “why me!?” – you’re on the wrong track. Because anything can happen to any one of us at any time.

 

“Why me!?” is always the wrong question. The right question? “What can I do now.”

 

Acceptance

The first and foremost thing you can do is accept your situation. I often talk about the difference between suffering and pain. Pain is when we acknowledge that something sucks. “Oh shit, my house burned down” and then you get on doing what needs to get done to get your life back together.

 

Suffering, on the other hand, is all about driving that wedge of “why me!?” deeper into our thinking. It’s victim thinking. It’s the kind of thinking that makes you think you SHOULD have been able to control the circumstances, the other person, etc. And whenever you slide into that way of thinking you’re trapping yourself in a dark pit of ugly crappola. And I don’t want you having to deal with that shit.

 

Whatever the shit is that you’re dealing with is hard enough WITHOUT the energy of regret, worry, guilt, shame, and suffering.

 

Because although we can’t control the situation or the other person. We CAN control ourselves and our reactions to it.

 

So you can choose to suffer and strangle your life with “why me’s!!” or you can choose to accept what’s going on and focus on what you can do or what’s working in your life.

 

This is connected with the Buddhist concept of non-attachment. When we accept that “It is what it is until it’s something different”. We recognize that we don’t have a stranglehold of attachment to a certain outcome. We drop the expectations of things being a certain way. And instead will cope with any twists and turns as they come. And we become much happier and satisfied because of it.

 

“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.”

– Michael J. Fox

 

I used to hate Roller Coasters

When was the last time you were on a rollercoaster? I remember hating them when I was a kid. They terrified me.

 

Why?

 

Because I couldn’t control them. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know what the next turn would do or which way it would flip or flop.

 

But I grew up to love rollercoasters.

 

How?

 

I let go of trying to control and anticipate what was going to come next and I just enjoyed the ride. I enjoyed the serendipity and surprise of not knowing what was around the next corner. I relaxed into the experience rather than gripping hold and clenching on for dear life. It was the clamping down that made the roller coaster so terrifying. When I let go and just took the experience as it came – it became fun and exhilarating!

 

And that’s what letting go of control is all about  – it’s about enjoying the ride rather than trying to grip tight and clamp down.

 

Flow

Ultimately, the process I’m talking about, and the topic of this week’s podcast, is about FLOW. When we’re in flow we’re not trying to control other people or our circumstances. We’re just taking the actions that feel right. We’re moving with the rhythm of our lives rather than trying to make them something specific.

 

It’s like the difference of fighting the waves and learning to surf. When you fight the waves thinking that your desire for control will tame them and that you can fight them – you’ll surely drown. But when you accept that you can’t fully anticipate the surf, but you can learn to flow with it and surf atop the waves, then you get to enjoy the unpredictability of your situation.

 

“‘Never Have Your Dog Stuffed’ is really advice to myself, a reminder to myself not to avoid change or uncertainty, but to go with it, to surf into change.”

– Alan Alda

 

It’s all about perspective – are you ready to shift yours? 

 

When I find myself struggling with a desire for more control in my life I turn inward and really slow down.

 

I connect with how I’m feeling. And I allow those feelings of fear to rise to the surface. And then I focus on accepting my situation. And I let go of the expectations that I had. And then I just focus on doing what I CAN do to make the situation as easy as possible. Perhaps that’s keeping myself busy. Or maybe it’s being grateful for what’s going right. Maybe it’s letting out a scream of a sob. Maybe it’s digging deep and sifting through the old shit that keeps bringing control to the surface. Or learning new habits so that I stop “shoulding” myself to death.

 

At the end of the day it’s about shifting your circumstances toward trust.

Trust that you can handle whatever happens to you. Trust that you are SO fucking capable and able to deal with even the most out of control situations. Because the desire for control is a lack of trust. A lack of trust in ourselves, in the universe, and in our own ability to handle shit and overcome even when things are super shitty piles o’ poop.

 

Because, sometimes things are super shitty piles o’poop.

 

But they won’t always be that way. I promise you that. As long as you can return to that base knowledge that you can trust yourself. And that everything has divine timing. And that you’re in exactly the right place at the right time – then you’ll be able to TRUST that everything will be okay. Even when you can’t control it.

 

If you’re ready to shift your perspective I encourage you to check out the Emergent Life Academy!!

 

A program all about learning to accept yourself and trust that you can handle whatever life throws you. To teach you the skills to get over all of the limiting beliefs that have gotten in your way. And to emerge into the extraordinary woman you are your core 🙂