Key Takeaways:
- Authenticity is the best marketing hack – being your true, weird, wild self attracts people like a magnetic bonfire.
- We’ve been indoctrinated to conform to others’ expectations, not embrace our authentic selves. This feels uncomfortable, like wearing pants two sizes too small.
- Coaches should empower you to forge your own path, not just copy them. There are many ways to succeed.
- It’s easier and more fun to relax and succeed by being yourself instead of trying to be perfect for others.
- Embrace your weird wildness – even small steps let you feel and share your true self. What little wildness will you try today?
So today we’re going to talk about your weird wildness. Now, this is a little bit of a hack in terms of really owning the authenticity that is inside of you that will truly take your business to the next level. You see, authenticity is the best marketing hack there is.
Authenticity is when you get to be exactly who you are and you get to have all of the things you want without having to try and put on errors and try to be somebody else. And all of this stuff that makes you feel like you’re wearing pants that are two sizes too small, walking through town wondering why you’re uncomfortable, well, it’s because you’re not feeling authentic in your own skin inside of your business. And I can’t tell you how many people I see really crumble in their business because of this failure or reluctance to own who they authentically are.
What happens instead is they end up buying into all of these scripts, all of these shoulds, all of these things that tell us that we’re supposed to be a certain kind of a person to succeed, that we’re supposed to dress a certain way, that our branding should look a certain way, that we should act a certain way, that we should be more professional, we should be more polished, it should be more perfect, it should be more done. Should, should. We should all over ourselves, right? This is what happens when we are showing up from a place that feels inauthentic, that doesn’t feel true to who we really are.
We end up feeling as though we’re living from the shoulds. We end up feeling as though, like we’re living somebody else’s scripts. And it happens all the time.
It happens when, let’s say we’re coming from an academic background. Like for example, with me, I have my phd in psychology. When I broke out of the identity of being a psychologist and moved into the identity of being a coach and a mentor and a guide, what happened was I had to break down all of these concepts about who I was supposed to be, how I was supposed to present myself, how I was supposed to write, what I was allowed to say, all of these things.
And whether we’re coming from something like that, like academia, or we’re coming just from being an employee and having to toe the line and follow the rules. Or we think about the fact that when we were younger, we had to conform to what other people expected of us. We had to do as we were told.
We had to do what people said we had to do, because as a ten year old, you don’t have the freedom to go leave the house and go find a job and do things your own way. So you end up having to conform to other people’s expectations. We’ve all been indoctrinated to follow other people’s expectations rather than to allow ourselves the space to be authentically who we are and to get to succeed by doing so, to get to make more money by doing so, to get to have more fun by doing so.
So it really takes a radical inner shift to move from this place that we’ve all been indoctrinated into being in this place of inauthenticity, which is what the world is essentially created around, is this sense of follow the rules, do what you’re told to, allowing ourselves to do what we feel, to follow our own rules, to follow our own rhythms, to be our most authentic, sovereign selves, so that we can go out there in the world and feel as though life gets to feel good, business gets to feel good. Because let’s be honest, when you are creating a business that’s built on the pile of shoulds, that’s built on what you think is supposed to be what it’s supposed to be in order to be successful, it actually doesn’t end up feeling very good because it feels like trying on somebody else’s clothes. This is why I love that analogy of, it’s like walking around town in pants that are two sizes too small and wondering why you’re uncomfortable.
Imagine going to a shop and you ask the person, like, dress me up in the latest fashions, and they put this cool little outfit on you, and you’re like, cool, here’s my money. And you leave the shop, and you go around town and you start walking around, and then you realize, like, what am I doing? This isn’t even my style. This isn’t even, like, my gig.
This isn’t my thing. But they told me it was cool. They told me it was the latest style.
They dressed me in it. I guess this is what I’m supposed to do in order to look stylish or look good in today’s society. And so you just keep trudging around feeling uncomfortable and wondering what’s going on.
Well, it seems pretty clear that you’re not dressing yourself and you’re not dressing to your style in that example. Right, but why is it different when we think about our business? Why is it different when we think about, oh, I’m going to hire a branding coach who tells me that this is the way to brand and this is the way to be successful. And if I just position myself and my offerings and my services this way, then I’ll finally break through that income level, or whatever it might be.
Why is it that when we hire a coach, we think we should copy what that coach does instead of hiring a coach that empowers us to follow our own path and to forge our own path through the forest? I mean, I know I’m repeating myself, but it’s funny. Just the other day, I was on Facebook, and, you know, this coach, know, I like, she’s. She’s cool and everything.
She’s got some good stuff to say. But then I looked at some of her followers and I looked at some of their Facebook pages, and every single one of them sounded like a carbon copy. They all were saying almost the same thing, saying it in almost the exact same way as their coach.
And it made me realize that, unfortunately, what was happening in this container was that the coach was teaching people to be like her instead of the coach. Helping people to finally free themselves, to be like themselves in their business, to finally free themselves, to own that authenticity, to be authentically them. Now, one of the things, the analogies that I absolutely adore is this concept of being the bonfire in your business.
Now, imagine for a moment that there’s a bonfire in the middle of the forest, right? This bonfire doesn’t have to work hard to be warm and inviting and absolutely attractive and magnetic. It just lights itself on fire with its own inner light, and everything in the forest gets drawn to it. It comes to the fire.
It is drawn to the blaze. This is what it’s like when you live and work from an authentic place. And this is why it’s one of the best marketing and sales and copywriting hacks there is, is you become the bonfire, and you become magnetic and attractive in this light that people can’t resist gathering around and paying attention to.
The converse of this is imagine yourself holding onto a torch. Imagine yourself holding onto a torch or a fire in your hand, and you’re wandering through the forest and you’re going, hey, everybody, where are you? Where are you? And you’ve got this torch in your hand, and you’re looking for everybody. It’s not that magnetic experience of a bonfire, is it? Instead, it’s the opposite.
It’s the I need to find you guys. I need to find my way. Where are you? It’s a seeking feeling.
It’s a convincing energy. Instead of a standing in your power and knowing that you have everything within you and you don’t have to seek, you can attract. This is the difference between being the bonfire and the torch, and this is the difference between being authentic and feeling as though you have to do things a certain way in order to be successful.
Now, are there formulas? Are there systems that make things simpler? Hell yes, there are. And I teach them to my clients as well. Simple systems where you have an offer that’s a hell yes to your clients, that you have a simple, streamlined strategy and system to bring clients in so that you don’t have to think about it? Absolutely.
But does it mean you have to do it that way just because somebody teaches it, you teaches you it that way? No. And does it mean that there’s only one way to succeed? Hell no. There are a million ways to succeed.
And if there is, one thing I want people to understand is that you can succeed doing things anyway. It’s a matter of your inner world that says whether or not you can be successful doing it that way or not. Can I be successful being authentic? If you don’t think you can, guess what you can’t.
But when you realize that you can, suddenly things get easier, things get more playful, things get more fun. Because think about it. What’s easier than just relaxing and being yourself? What’s easier than just getting to say what’s in your heart, mind, body and soul, instead of having to like, oh, I got to craft this and make it perfect for people because otherwise they won’t like it.
And, oh, my gosh, in living in that place of inauthenticity, it’s actually really hard to be inauthentic. And yet people think it’s easier. It’s so much easier and more fun to just relax and get to succeed by being yourself and to get to succeed and make more money by expressing yourself and expressing your USP, your unique selling proposition, which is you, you.
It’s you. So let’s get back to what I was saying at the beginning about your weird wildness. Your weird wildness is one of those weird little magical things that makes you you and that maybe you haven’t yet given yourself permission to embrace.
I was joking with some of my clients today about this earlier about how I always used to think that when I’m like 80 years old, I want to wear, like, sequined underpants on my head, I want to wear boxes for pants, and I want to wear glasses that are the size of a coffee saucer, because that just sounds like a lot of fun, and I just want to do it because that’s hell, yes. Why not? Why not? And they were all laughing because I’m giving an extreme example to really show that how many ways are we holding back our weirdness, our wildness, these things within us that just are going like, ooh, that would be fun. Ooh, I want to try that one because we think, are other people going to like it? Are there people going to approve? Are other people going to say, that’s weird, that’s lame.
Oh, my goodness. Well, when you can enter into the I like myself so much that it doesn’t matter if you like me, that I don’t give a fuck energy that says, I get to be me, and gosh darn it, I am so lucky that this is who I get to be. You see how that’s the bonfire? You see how that’s magnetic? You see how that is irresistible? And it becomes the best marketing and sales and copywriting and positioning hack that there is, is the joy of being you.
You are truly a gift to this world. You are truly, truly a gift. And more people deserve to know who you really are.
You’re cheating the world by not allowing people to see you. And frankly, you’re not allowing yourself to authentically connect to other people when you’re not yourself. Because how can you create authentic connection when you’re coming from an inauthentic place? Can’t.
So consider this your invitation to embrace your weird wildness, to embrace your authenticity, to own the fact that exactly who you are is enough, is not only worthy, is freaking fantabulous. And gosh darn it, isn’t it exciting to get to be you? Because it is. Now, I would love to hear from you about what one of your little weird wildnesses is, if that’s a word.
Wildnesses. Wildnesses are that you could embrace today. So it’s not necessarily about making this quantum leap radical shift into wearing a box for pants and sequin underpants on your head.
It’s not necessarily about that. What it’s about is, what small thing could I do today that would really let me feel into being every delicious, delectable, delightful piece of myself? Maybe it’s wearing that red lipstick. Maybe it’s finishing your tattoo.
Maybe it’s just getting to do whatever the heck you want today and not having to follow a to do list or a should list or a supposed to list. It’s up to you. I would love to hear more about you.
Send me a DM on Instagram if you’re listening to this and tell me what little weird wildness you’re going to embrace, because this is the invitation for you to embrace it all.
