Working Hard and the Burden of Success
What does a “hustle” mentality have to do with a toxic childhood?
When you come from a background where worth was earned by keeping everyone around you happy. By towing the line. By being the “good girl” and keeping quiet, or bringing home good grades, or raising your siblings, or achieving more and more to be noticed.
You become conditioned to believe that:
Working hard = Success
So you create structures around your success where you have to work harder and harder. Success becomes a burden.
The Hamster Wheel of Busy
You stay constantly busy.
You move from one task to another in rapid succession feeling as though an internal motor is constantly saying to “do more. Do more. Do more”.
Because fundamentally you feel that your worth is earned through hard work.
You believe: Worthiness = Hard work
At a certain point, you start to believe that you must always be doing in order to “earn it”. Whatever “it” happens to be.
A divine partner.
A purpose driven career.
That the only way to make more, be more, and connect more is to HUSTLE more.
Hustle Leads To Burnout And Stress
Unfortunately, this leads to a whole steaming pile of burnout and stress. You start to resent your work. You start to pull back. You start to have trouble with procrastination, resistance, and avoidance.
You start to tell yourself “I must not have what it takes”, “I must not be made for this”, or “this is too hard.”
Because you’re breaking your back hustling.
Not for success – but for worthiness.
Your mind fundamentally believes: Working hard = Worthiness = Success
The Equation That Cheats Your Life
Notice something missing from that equation? Yeah, how about happiness? Satisfaction? Joy? Pleasure? Contentment? Nope.
None of those get into the equation when you’re running your life from the old toxic paradigm. You run around trying to keep everyone happy. To earn as many pats on the head as you can. In order to be successful so that you can finally be worthy.
Problem is, even when you achieve something. Even when you’re accomplished. You’re still chasing the dragon of worthiness.
And because you can never reach the holy grail of worthiness through this pathway, you burn yourself out and break your back and pull back, hide, or quit.
Because of that toxic background, the worthiness isn’t anchored inside of you. So you’re always looking for another pat on the head.
Another ball of praise convincing you that you “did
You Woke Up Worthy
But Worthiness Is Not Earned Worthiness is who you are.
You woke up worthy. You have always been worthy.
But because you’re running the toxicity paradigm you feel as though once you finally get X (be that money, the divine partner, losing 10 pounds, a raise, a new car, whatever) that you’ll once and for all feel “good enough” and be able to relax and finally be happy.
But that’s not how this works!!
That’s not how any of this works!
Stop The Vicious Toxic Cycle For Good
We have to turn the whole system on its head.
To put feeling “good enough” and “worthy” FIRST.
To put YOU first.
And to stop you from this vicious cycle of feeling that you must earn your worth.
The toxic paradigm that you learned when you were young. You are never going to let yourself be happy unless you break this cycle.
You are never going to allow yourself to prioritize pleasure and contentment and joy because you’ve convinced yourself that you must constantly HUSTLE before you can finally rest and let yourself enjoy anything.
(Want proof? What does celebration look like to you? Do you celebrate even the small stuff? Do you do a little dance when the house is clean or sing for joy when you feel grateful. No? Why? Because you feel that it’s not “enough” to celebrate. Just like you feel that YOU are not enough to celebrate!!).
Dismantle the Old Wounds & Feel Confident and Vital
This is the work I do with my clients.
I help my clients dismantle the old wounds that say that they have to earn worthiness by keeping other people happy.
To put themselves first.
To figure out what they really want.
To stop playing small to keep other people comfortable.
To drop the struggle, suffering, hustle mentality that is constantly delaying happiness.
And to move through the intense emotions that they’ve hidden from their whole life.
(oh yeah, that hustle is ALSO a way that you keep yourself numbed out to those emotions that you’re running from. The very emotions that will help you feel truly connected to others. That will attract those clients, that divine partner, that cashola. The emotions that are essential for intuition. Those emotions that will allow you to feel truly lit up about your life).
I help my clients to FINALLY, truly, feel confident and vital, and self-expressed as THEMSELVES. Knowing they’re worthy of receiving lovely and amazing things.
This is a whole system that I’ve developed. And one that you WILL NOT find anywhere else.
It integrates my entire life experience with this very cycle (my clients tell me that I’m my best testimonial).
PLUS, my Ph.D. in psychology.
PLUS deep spiritual and divine connection.
PLUS deep spiritual gifts of on-point intuition and psychic ability.
PLUS, research and up to date neuroscience on change, motivation, and
PLUS, 15 years of experience helping people with this very thing as a coach and former psychologist.
PLUS, specialized psychological training in toxic backgrounds, trauma, and abuse.
PLUS, loving, heart-based, expansive mentorship that is like nothing you’ve ever experienced.
If you want to shift out of this cycle for good. You know where to find me.
I have just 2 more spots to step into 1:1
You know it’s your time. Because YOU ARE WORTHY!!
Grab a session below by clicking the button. I can’t wait to chat about how one-on-one coaching will change your life forever.